Closing doors

1918 - 2008

Mum passed away last month on Valentines day, 35 years after my dad; I like to think they got a long awaited valentine cuddle. My sister and I have been busy sorting out all that needed to be done and supported by family and friends found that all came together as it should. Mum was very good to us, she had notes and envelopes in the desk and all was very tidy; she had been preparing us and and the house for such a day as this. It has been something I have dreaded for sometime and as mum has cared for so many people through her life; we knew it would be difficult for her when she had done all she could.

Apocolypse 14 says...

Happy indeed, the spirit says; now they can rest forever after their work, since their good deeds go with them.

Indeed she has taken many good deeds with her.

Christened Hannah Elizabeth, her father called her Lizzy and at the age of 12 she was helping to deliver milk in the next small village as the milkmans wife was ill (no milk bottles in those days). Making butter on the farm to sell at market and all the baking and chores. Her father encouraged the children to run and held a stop watch; on their village day out (bank holiday) they would take horse and cart to the near by beach. Races were held and I am told mum did very well.

Mum became known as Bette, Aunty Bette to many, Grandma to more than just her own grand children. I knew there would be many at her funeral and I guessed there would be many I would not even know; her caring and love went far and wide (a challenge for us to try and continue). It has been a time of closing doors, not just the rented house where she lived. Finding treasures as we packed boxes, photos and post cards - her address books (invaluable) and the button tin.....

Now this button tin must hide many small treasures from days when I was but a small boy, often when I called in to see mum at home I might pick up a jug or open a drawer, expecting to find something I had forgotten; these and the button tin are currently packed in boxes either here or at my sisters. We plan to take our time and sort through together, the brass - fat old policeman corkscrew and a piece of Spitfre propeller. I must tell you about the furniture too (the Old Man) but that will be another day.
Note to evening office - slow down a little and let things settle.

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Burn's Night

Burn's night 25th January and for the last few years it has been spent with close friends. We attempt to get our toungs around the Scottish dialect and recite some of the great poet's words; what fun! and the food and drink is good for both body and spirit.

A toast to the Haggis piped in with great ceremony followed by neeps n tatties; will there be room for pudding? Oh yes! says Fr Gerry. The lads toast the lassies and the lassies toast the lads (more whiskey) ending with old lang syne.

Time goes so quickly and folk are on their way - blessings and haste ye back. The washing up and putting away is soon complete and the kitchen eases into a lull. The CD player in the corner is still strumming out sounds of The Corries, I pull up a chair and settle down to a plate of cheese and oatcakes; I convinced myself it would taste much better with a dram of whiskey.

The wind was whistling round the house end and seemed intent on moving anything in it's path. Yet the haunting sound of the pipes and flute pushed the wind into the distance and memories of Scotland; another kitchen, accordion and voices came flooding back to me. A quick check round before I go to bed, the dinning room where we all had sat and as I saw where each had been, I blessed each one and went to bed.

Note to evening office: Count – literally – your blessings. Enumerate your reasons to be cheerful. Only then pray your complaints!

Windy Day

Saturday morning and it seems the whole household has slept in; Oh joy. So why am I awake? Would it not be easier to tun over and sleep for another hour? From where I lay, my windows field of view, is grey sky with clouds moving quickly from the North west. The sun is rising but has not reached my horizon; seagulls fly - alight with the morning sun, blown around by the strong wind they dart this way and that to reach their destination.

Perhaps I should make a cup of tea? heading for the kitchen I pause at the landing window, the sun has reached the wooded hillside across the valley, light is pushing a line of darkness down, down like a large curtain unfolding colour of rich browns and red. - More movement in the house and the moment of wonder is lost; till the next time I stop, look and notice.

Note to evening office: Lord help me go with the wind and correct my course as I go.

What a Hoot

A merry Christmas and a happy New Year to one and all.
Where have you been I hear you say; well of course the truth is I have been nowhere at all.It is strange that the last thing I mentioned was to look out for the owls, last night as I walked through the village I heard them again up by the old cemetary.
Nothing has changed - though much has happened and I couldn't begin to tell you all about it. Losing emails and address book through a computer crash were minor irritations - sticking close to those who matter in times of need has been a priority.

This time of year brings presents, those to give and those to receive; the dreaded Christmas card list - lost with the emails and contents of the hard drive (I know, backup). I know I missed some folk and now feel I owe a little more than just a card; I feel some good New Years resoloutions coming on.

Freeview digital TV has arrived at the friary with flat screen cinema style viewing, we can freeze frame and with on demand - catch up TV - video - Dvd - hard drive recording; we shall never miss another programme again.
The illusion is controlling time, the reality is there is not enough time to cope with all the choices.

I love to look at the moon as astronomy was a bit of a hobby for me, brother Timothy has a great interest and we talk alot about the stars. The moon goes through it's phases and never changes; of course here in the Uk cloud cover keeps this celestial night light well hidden. However I managed to catch this photo earlier this month just befre it became full.
Note to evening office: Lord help me to focus on the things that do not change so I may cope better with the things that do.

Untruth

The silver birch is standing tall, all the leaves have now gone. Still a young tree it looks very vulnerable when I think of our North east winters. Though it was necessary for the leaves to go, the young branches would not stand the weight of snow and there is goodness in the leaves for the ground life. The sea has been very rough recently though we are a few miles away I can hear it roaring when standing outside the back door. Just last week I looked out and caught sight of a rainbow, there was a pillar of colour standing a little higher than the parish church; I ran for my camera, large lens and tripod. It is nice to see a complete rainbow (sometimes a double) but these columns of light are amazing. The owls have returned, I have not heard them myself but a good neighbour heard them just the other night (kept her awake most the night she said).

I received an email from a friend far off who told me I should apply for a free book, it was regarding the end times. Evidently this is a prophet who has written a couple of books and (as they are so important) they are being given away free. I have received more emails now asking if I have sent for my copy. Being a suspicious Yorkshire man I looked up the author on the web, I did not go straight to his web site or any of the promotional sites linked to him. No, I found a web site that was telling me all about this man's dubious past and how we have heard all this before. It is interesting how we automatically want to discredit people, especially if what they are saying does not fit with us.

There has to be a line with this; the world seems full of truth / untruths / conspiracy theories and so many of them are cleverly woven. So where do I stand with all this? I know what I see in nature and the light and I base my time with people and tending to what is needed. The distractions can be only that, taking us away from what we are meant to be doing (what is important). Hours spent on the Internet, reading and discussing what might be! if we are "caught napping" when the Master returns, it will not go well for us. Focus on what is clearly true, so when you meet an untruth it will be seen for what it is
Note to evening office: Listen out for those owls, they are close by.
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Pirates Aboard

The day started out quite normal, we were expecting visitors but not quite the upheaval that followed. A small family who's visit expanded and didn't leave us till early evening; how I was looking forward to switching off and having some peace and quiet. How can one child have so much energy and captivate me, drawing me into his imagination and excitement.

The first strategy was to occupy this little 2 year old through a children's Tv programme, (there not being many toys or games around the friary). This soon wore thin though there was some interest in a Pirate ship, I set out to find some soft cushions, material and other bits and pieces. Before long we had a mighty galleon - a Pirate ship complete with hat and cutlass, (we couldn't get the parrot to stay on his shoulder).

Through the day these component parts became a racing car and a space shuttle, I wonder who's imagination was the greater? There seemed to be bursts of energy, tearing around on all fours and climbing all over me; what fun!

It was a welcome break to accept the job of washing up after the meal, I was happy to suggest the rest of the group left me to it. Soon I was down to the last of the cutlery, amongst the soapy water I could hear a last spoon or fork but where was it? I fumbled and pushed my fingers against the bottom of the sink till I had covered the whole area, but it was nowhere to be found. This didn't make sense, I knew it was there - I could hear it and sensed where it should be. Finally I had it, the little boys plastic spoon; no wonder I couldn't find it, it was almost floating. I expected to find a metal spoon at the bottom of the sink, I was surprised how confused I was and how I would not turn away from what I expected. I laughed and thought, how typical of me; I fix my mind on what I expect, what I assume should happen and often reject any possible alternatives. Then, as the truth emerges it is obvious and as if I had always known it.

Note to memo: Lord keep me from revelations and awaken me to the things I have always known.
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Many pieces

The friary is a hive of activity and relating it to bee's is the right thing to do; for it is in each person doing their part that enables it all to be done. Now I have noticed that some seem to be less busy than others, they seem to be quite content and blissfully unaware of the doings. This is not a winge on my part as I tend to be more content when I am busy. I guess I may be a little jealous; I find it difficult to set time aside for myself doing something I have wanted to do for a long time. Not being short on ideas and activities, projects and exploring; my head is like a library, full of books just waiting to be read - new knowledge - new skills. To be able to draw (successfully), paint, unlock the secrets of the stars or on a more practical side sort out the old family photos left by Aunt Mary.

It was during a time of searching through this library wondering what to start next that I decided to do a jigsaw. Realistically this was not a good idea as I did have a lot of other unfinished jobs and a 1,000 piece jigsaw of Notre Dame Cathedral is not a 5 minute task. It would on the other hand be some time on my own doing something I enjoy and I could leave it for a while and return now and then when I had time. There was a wind coming in off the sea and the weather looked bleak as I took myself off to the back room; the window looks out onto a most uninteresting part of the garden (no distractions), I turned up the radiator and began to clear the table.

For those of you familiar with jigsaws, it is a serious business and preparation is all important. Starting with the outside pieces, I remember my older sister always writing on the box (for next time) the number of outside pieces. It is not always easy to know whether you have the outside pieces in the right place - until you have the inside pieces (so that would be near enough for now). So there is a logical way of doing a jigsaw and it will depend very much on how difficult the picture is and everyone has their own way. Don't you just love it when there are lots of pieces that are clearly for one area or another but shades of autumn leaves, large areas of sky - paths - grass and roof!
I like to get on with a job and see it done, if there are going to be delays and lengthy tedious tasks - I loose faith that the job will ever be complete. The more I think about the jigsaw, the more it looks like my ever growing list of incomplete jobs; of course I could have chosen not to start it.

Focusing on the pieces my mind flits from one colour to the next, that surely goes to the bottom left and - isn't that part of the top window - perhaps I will just concentrate on the centre isle. Maybe I should learn to focus on one thing at a time and not be distracted till the first part is complete. I hope to tell you next week of my progress.
Note to evening office: in the chaos there is order - only visible after the event .