Thursday 6 March 2008

Closing doors


1918 - 2008

Mum passed away last month on Valentines day, 35 years after my dad; I like to think they got a long awaited valentine cuddle. My sister and I have been busy sorting out all that needed to be done and supported by family and friends found that all came together as it should. Mum was very good to us, she had notes and envelopes in the desk and all was very tidy; she had been preparing us and and the house for such a day as this. It has been something I have dreaded for sometime and as mum has cared for so many people through her life; we knew it would be difficult for her when she had done all she could.
Apocolypse 14 says...

Happy indeed, the spirit says; now they can rest forever after their work, since their good deeds go with them.

Indeed she has taken many good deeds with her.

Christened Hannah Elizabeth, her father called her Lizzy and at the age of 12 she was helping to deliver milk in the next small village as the milkmans wife was ill (no milk bottles in those days). Making butter on the farm to sell at market and all the baking and chores. Her father encouraged the children to run and held a stop watch; on their village day out (bank holiday) they would take horse and cart to the near by beach. Races were held and I am told mum did very well.

Mum became known as Bette, Aunty Bette to many, Grandma to more than just her own grand children. I knew there would be many at her funeral and I guessed there would be many I would not even know; her caring and love went far and wide (a challenge for us to try and continue). It has been a time of closing doors, not just the rented house where she lived. Finding treasures as we packed boxes, photos and post cards - her address books (invaluable) and the button tin.....

Now this button tin must hide many small treasures from days when I was but a small boy, often when I called in to see mum at home I might pick up a jug or open a drawer, expecting to find something I had forgotten; these and the button tin are currently packed in boxes either here or at my sisters. We plan to take our time and sort through together, the brass - fat old policeman corkscrew and a piece of Spitfre propeller. I must tell you about the furniture too (the Old Man) but that will be another day.
Note to evening office - slow down a little and let things settle.
.

2 comments:

awareness said...

David....I'm so sorry to read about the loss of your Mum. I can't think of a nicer thing to be remembered by as someone who always thought of others by offering good deeds....
My husband lost both of his parents last June within two weeks of one another. At my father in law's funeral, we were all taken aback by the number of people we didn't know.....who approached my husband with wonderful stories about how his Dad had touched their lives.
My children too were amazed at learning about their Grandpa's younger years.....they had always seen him as an elderly man. But the stories shared, endearing and funny really offered them a completely different perspective on this man.

Do take the time to slow down, especially with the time you can spend with your sister as you go through the pictures and momentos...tell the stories, revisit the moments....

thinking of you.....

dana

J Pearson said...

Dana
Many thanks for your thoughts and kind words; things are beginning to slow down and I am being pulled into normality. Mum would have been 90 in April so we are planning a family get together somewhere out near York.
Something to look forward to.
Take care - David