Monday, 27 April 2009

Learning to fly

Sometimes I have a germ of an idea that rolls along and becomes something I can write about; writing puts flesh on the bones of the thought and often doesn't appear until the pen meets the paper. Most of my musings escape before I can rope then, lost in the mystical ether (just thought I would call it that, sounds better than fog). I seem to have a small cache/ memory, a train of events begin and before I am 3-4 carriages down, I have forgotten how I started (brother Cyril, we have more in common than I thought). So I have this little notebook of jottings and ideas; mostly for the book, which is going very slowly.

Sunday early morning and I was watching two blackbirds chasing each other over rooftops and fences. Their world exists of lampposts and aerials, chimneys and treetops; gravity for them is not an issue, they have no need of it. A bird of the air is in its element, I on the other hand am grounded on terra firma and gaze in wonder at effortless flight. Where is my element, in what do I shine? For mankind our element should be our capacity to love, but it seems the enemy is keeping this secret hidden..

Note to morning office: learning to fly requires stepping off some high point.

Sunday, 26 April 2009


eels like my head is up in the clouds at the moment....

I pondered earlier after washing up; watching the water go swirling down the sink. Is that what a Black Hole is like and can we see these phenomena in our every day events? I am on the scout for more of the same.

Will come back later and drop my picture in; problems with the Internet. My router died and the spare one is playing up. It's like trying to push through treacle. (Better).. A temporary fix to the broadband connection. How quickly we become reliant on something as simple as a light switch/ telephone/ Internet. Called an old friend today who I had not spoken to in a long time, so much has happened and 40 minutes was not enough to catch up to where we used to be. Selective points to try and summarise where we are now - sometimes think I do that with the Lord too.

Tuesday, 14 April 2009


Stress, anxiety, depression is a state we cannot fully understand, unless we have been there; and even then - what is understanding? We muddle through at best, follow suggestions and formulae in an effort to find something that works. Like a roller coaster, we can see the bend coming up but we cannot prepare for the forces against us as we go through that bend. A recent training course "mental health first aid! was very interesting, particularly as a close friend is going through this.

We journeyed together to church the other week, a big step for her; avoiding people and questions. Well meaning folk, pleased to see her and wanting to encourage. The early service was a good option, familiar in its ways and unlikely to have any surprises; tea & coffee is provided between the services for the comings and goings. At the final blessing I whispered to her "fancy a coffee"; "I think I'll just go straight home".

As we left we bumped into a lady just arriving, she asked the time of the next service and we suggested she went int the hall for a coffee first.
Sitting in the car we could see the lady, walking around the perimeter looking at the hall; she then sat on the wall, waiting.

Thats when it happened; my friend reached into who she is, a caring person that understands feelings. "Tell her, if she wants to go for a coffee, I will go with her" and that's what we did.

Note to morning office: help me to know me and work out of who I am.

Monday, 13 April 2009

Gift of Time

Sunday should not go without a mention; after service a friend came to me and said "I'm going to ask you a strange question". With a laugh I told him he would probably get a strange answer; he asked me if I had a wrist watch? Of course and I went on to show him and tell him how it is nothing special and I have had it some years now, the glass is scratched and will only wind the pointers one way. This winding is not a problem as in the fall it will wind back and the watch always gains a little - so winding back is no problem. March is a problem and I need to wind back 11-hours.

Clearly I did not go into such length about my old watch as my friend just held out his watch and said, "I would like you to have this". I was stunned and did not know what to say, I am used to there being a catch/ condition; there was none. This was a very good quality watch, I used to have one the same make many years ago. It seems my friend recieved a retirement gift, a special watch and must have pondered on what to do with his old one; most would keep it in a drawer for use on occasional days. He added, it's quartz and just had a new battery; I am not often lost for words - a simple thank you...

But it must be more than that for it has not left my thoughts since. Our possessions, all that we have - it is not what we have but what we do with it - letting go of possessions is not easy - how much stuff do I/we have in cupboards and drawers and if we could let go of them, then maybe - just maybe we could let go and be who we are created to be. New life indeed.

Note to evening office: do some clearing out.

Monday walk

Started out this morning at a bird hide and quickly realised
I am a photographer - not a bird watcher. I enjoy taking pictures of our feathered friends but conversation in that small shed was all about what they had seen and where. I think I was looking for a little peace and quiet; so off I went for a walk. Here are a selection of snaps.

Happy Easter.

Sunday, 5 April 2009

Eternal Bank Account

So many of us put great distance between ourselves and our bank account when funds are low. The statement, be it on paper or online is avoided at all cost. "I know I am low but I don't want to know how much". It is great to view a statement when we are in credit, spend a little and not worry about the balance (spend a lot and not worry)!

The journey back is always longer than the journey there, as kids we would walk down the fields to the woods, and play all day. Coming back we would often comment how far away the farmhouse was; it seemed as if someone had moved it while we were playing. It is easy for our statement of accounts to move beyond our point of calculation; Dad would always say "look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves". Strange, when the most I would have was ten shillings (but he was right). It dosen't seem to matter how well we are brought up, we still stray and get into bother, now the economic climate seems to be having a day (or two) of reckoning; perhaps the banks have been loosing sight of the pennies.

Holy week and leading up to Good Friday, a day of reckoning when our debt was paid in full ,but it is not that simple - our statement needs to be refreshed daily.
Note to morning office: help me to look after the pennies (your sheep).