Stress, anxiety, depression is a state we cannot fully understand, unless we have been there; and even then - what is understanding? We muddle through at best, follow suggestions and formulae in an effort to find something that works. Like a roller coaster, we can see the bend coming up but we cannot prepare for the forces against us as we go through that bend. A recent training course "mental health first aid! was very interesting, particularly as a close friend is going through this.
We journeyed together to church the other week, a big step for her; avoiding people and questions. Well meaning folk, pleased to see her and wanting to encourage. The early service was a good option, familiar in its ways and unlikely to have any surprises; tea & coffee is provided between the services for the comings and goings. At the final blessing I whispered to her "fancy a coffee"; "I think I'll just go straight home".
As we left we bumped into a lady just arriving, she asked the time of the next service and we suggested she went int the hall for a coffee first.
Sitting in the car we could see the lady, walking around the perimeter looking at the hall; she then sat on the wall, waiting.
Thats when it happened; my friend reached into who she is, a caring person that understands feelings. "Tell her, if she wants to go for a coffee, I will go with her" and that's what we did.
Note to morning office: help me to know me and work out of who I am.
.
As we left we bumped into a lady just arriving, she asked the time of the next service and we suggested she went int the hall for a coffee first.
Sitting in the car we could see the lady, walking around the perimeter looking at the hall; she then sat on the wall, waiting.
Thats when it happened; my friend reached into who she is, a caring person that understands feelings. "Tell her, if she wants to go for a coffee, I will go with her" and that's what we did.
Note to morning office: help me to know me and work out of who I am.
.
6 comments:
3 straight bowled posts.......
phew
all require thought
Life is nothing but interesting; stuff keeps happening and I can't ignore it...
Most of the time it is about people; so the photos of walls and trees make a nice change.
Though I was never much good at cricket.
the best medicine i know for depression is helping out someone else. i think it must stir the chemicals in you or something...
if you can feel empathy when all else seems to be falling into a dark hole, you realize you have the capacity to feel goodness again. i think it is a sign of grace when that happens.
Thank you, you are right. Giving something to others has a reverse effect too.
You're right David. It's a fine balance isn't it? I think it was Frederick Buechner who wrote about bleeding hearts...that they are no good to anyone if you let it bleed to death. :) We have to continue to care for ourselves and be cognizant of how we are feeling and reacting to the people in our lives and the situations we find ourselves in. If we don't pay attention to our own health and wholeness, we can easily be pulled into the hole of despair along with them.
However, having thought of a few examples when I wasn't paying attention to this, there is much research indicating that our levels of seratonin increase dramatically when we engage in helping others, thereby pulling ourselves out of our own hole.
Keep smiling :)
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