My Window

I was sitting in my old chair, deep in my room - surrounded by my memories, furniture, pictures and books; withdrawn and safe within my world created.

The window surrounded by fabric and walls, allows light into this world of mine. 

The morning sun in its colours of gold orange and yellow cast shadows that move swiftly across my world.

From where I sit, the view through my window is limited; occasionally a bird will fly past or circle in the distance.

Noises outside bring curiosity, and I rise to approach my window.

I breathe in familiar senses of this beautiful NEW world that is my present future.

A million shades of green

Laughter abides in the tree at the bottom of our garden;

the cracking and popping of the buds and the rapid change in its shades of green.

The distant view through its branches, takes on a filter of foliage;

change is here, and what we now see, is something quite different.

Time

Almost a week ago I began, not for the first time – a journey into rather than away from. Though the week was spent with others, it was very much time for self; the others, provided the reflection necessary, for the internal reference.

A story told, crammed with metaphors, lead us through fields to an old house; cared for by a very special couple. Visitors were clearly changed having spent time at this magical place; it was as if they could take some of the very fabric of the building with them. Cases packed, taxi waiting in the drive, each one carried out much more than they had brought. 

Returning to places that have been important to us, is not always that easy. The woman in the story, after leaving the old house, paused on a bridge and gazed into the water; seeing herself looking back at her becoming.

This evening was spent at a Vin Garbutt gig, which I thoroughly enjoyed; he saved the best till last and sang “What’s the use of wings”.

Simple mysteries

Testimony

The purpose of a testimony is to encourage, and I want to encourage you.

I encourage you to imagine the impossible, because God is good at doing the impossible; you know when God is about, when incredible things happen – and the strange thing is, that these things often happen in the most normal of ways – because God is involved in the normal.

I could tell you many stories of incredible things and many normal things too; each one, leaving within, a sense of awe.

Each one requires a response, a response to change; to move forward.

The purpose of a testimony is to encourage us to change, as a response to a personal experience.

So imagine the impossible, find it in the normal and share it.

Ingredients

I am not sure what makes a good blog or if we should define good, being dependant on number of hits. I have come to a conclusion that the Internet and it’s “Hits monitor” is just a lottery. “The post” on this modest site attracting most attention – 15th Feb 2009. I have no idea why this should be?

We all have a need to be accepted and occasionally to be told “your doing good”. Fame is quite another thing and I think that’s important for some and for others to aspire to. I was working recently with a young man and we were talking about confidence. Now this person has quite a lot of self confidence in some areas of his life – lack of confidence in other areas holds back growth and drives him into a stuck state, unable to move forward.

Imagine where we might not find confidence? We would not find it in any of the jars in a sweet shop, we could not fill a bucket of it from a stream, we can’t pick it from trees, it won’t arrive in the post and I am not going to win it in a lottery draw. In short, we came to the conclusion that confidence is not something that grows or develops, magically appears or that it can be strengthened by some form of exercise. Our theory is that each person has sufficient confidence for their needs; our ability to use this confidence is restricted by barriers and issues, both internal and external. Removing the blockages in the pipe-work allows the product to flow through.

Note to evening office: Lord, thank you for equipping me with all I need.

Without intention

The silver birch in the friary garden, adorned by a beauty that was not of its making.

New years arrive more frequently than they used to (or at least, that is my perception). I am feeling I have more to look back upon than to look forward to. Until you begin to see the possibilities  of what will go on beyond our time.

Moulding/ creating with a piece of clay in my hand; I shape and give form to to what was just a lump of clay. I begin to bring into being a thought, a feeling, an idea that is more than words or a sketch; this is more part of myself than I would dare to admit. It would take a fraction of a second to re-form this creation back to a lump of clay – so take a moment to hold it in the palm of your hand and try not to compare it to anything else (it is unique). As it stands, it is perfect; without criticism from within or without, it just is.

How easily we put down our dreams and creative thoughts in this competitive and critical world. It seems that when we compare our efforts to something else, this is when we decide we are not good enough. So the next time you get your hands on a piece of clay or plasticine, mould a thought and accept it as perfect, comparing it to nothing else.

Note to evening office: I am a creative being, moulded by the creator – who said He was pleased with what he saw.