Brother David

Foundational archive

2011-11-27T07:12:00.001Z

I am inspired by Dana's blog (Awareness) this morning and ponder on her term foundational archive. Similar thoughts were already swimming in my mind even before I read her wonderful piece, about the silver link between our senses and memories; being sparked by sights, sounds or smells and transported back to a memory.

The memories that made a difference, if I were to group them together, would almost certainly be about family and those close who were "always there". Uncles, great aunts, friends of our family that I grew up alongside; there was a knowledge that much of what happened had a purpose and was dependable. When things went a little off balance, there was a root to hold onto a branch to shelter under, something to climb and see things from a different place. So many people are already flooding back into my mind, times and places of togetherness, happy events; but even the sad times, there is peace.

How do we teach this to our young generation? Have we lost the skills or the will to share these moments, to build foundational archives for generations to come. It seems to me that there has been such a gap in time when this way of living has been left to one side, we can blame the technological age, materialism or pressure of work; it still comes down to us. I also believe that the giving of self in this way, being there for those around us, provides us with a vitamin that cannot be purchased over a counter; a different kind of energy that you will not find in a gym. So remember those times, value and treasure them; it is our turn to be those people.

Light beneath the canopy

2011-11-21T06:50:00.001Z

Light beneath the canopy

Time has stood still only at this Blog space; elsewhere it has been moving at an alarming rate. I realised some time ago that time was against me in relation to achieving my goals, and embedded a sense of disappointment. My creative thoughts and ideas appeared on, what I imagined to be a large sheet of white paper and immediately blurred with everything else. I was not prepared to reduce the amount of ideas so in my mind, I created a much larger sheet of paper. Each one of us have ways of organising and visualising life and its demands, and to balance our own creative side is important.

Walking recently through the streets of Saltburn by the Sea (the back streets & alleyways to be precise) I noticed far more people choose the alleyways; there is a busy highway running through our town that you would not notice unless you stepped onto it. I was surprised who I met and will choose these streets more often.

Awaking early as I do this time of year, feels like the middle of the night. It is strange to see that we can see, much much further these dark times; light years in fact - to the distant stars. Durham was lit up this week and thousands flocked to see the amazing colours; I didn't stay long among the hustle and bustle, people with cameras, tripods, mobiles and an assortment of personal light sabres. I returned home to my own light show and my very large sheet of paper, which in itself contains a whole universe.

Durham

The morning sun

2011-08-24T06:36:00.001+01:00

My eyes are squinted at the bright morning sun.

What filters will I use today to distort the brightness of others.

Pedestrian

2011-08-22T06:58:00.003+01:00

I am walking and listening, and most of the sounds are part of the background mush; occasionally something is brought to the foreground and then sent back.

The sound of my old sandals caught me by surprise, it is a personal sound and made up of many parts. The left and the right steps have their own signature and the combination of leather and flesh creates something close to a squeak, but not. The side-walk and the soul beat together as the body swings in time.

I may be recognised by the rhythm, the sway, tempo and shape from a distance; something I am totally unaware of. So it was good to listen, as I walked; beginning to recognise part of me that others see.

Books & Knowledge

2011-08-17T20:59:00.001+01:00

Today a wonderful book arrived by special delivery from some very good friends; a simple note inside saying “Saw this and thought of you”.

It’s a third edition, original printed in 1947 so circa 1956-65. Radio Television and Electrical repairs; it made me smile. As a boy I had a keen interest in short wave radio and enjoyed pulling things to bits to see how they worked; I did manage to make a few things too. This lead to an apprenticeship in Radio TV and Hi Fi servicing and books such as these were essential to feed the mind.

I remember college clearly and wondered just how I was going to figure everything out, there was so much of it and they used such strange words and formula. I gathered many such books and subscribed to magazines to keep abreast of new ideas. Still it was a struggle to me, others seemed to grasp concepts quickly and move on; I knew all the answers were in the book. Trying to race ahead, looking at the pictures, making some sense in my own head was not a good strategy as I only became more confused. Final year exams were tense but the results were a pass and I qualified.

It is strange today looking at these books and still thinking, I don’t understand it all. I guess reading is not my preferred learning style (something that was never thought about in my day). Looking at my collection of books, I know they contain much knowledge. To sit down and transfer that knowledge into workable, usable skills and benefits is a struggle and sometimes I think I collect the books, in the hopes that the knowledge will just magically seep out and become part of me.

Before we can learn we must first learn the language in which the subject is taught.

NB. A great day at Saltburn by the Sea today as it was 150 years since the first Steam train pulled into this very new Victorian town 1861 and Saltburn became the fastest growing Victorian town in England.

Little people

2011-07-25T07:20:00.001+01:00

This weekend has seen a young family staying with us, two small children and a large dog; there has been much fun and I don’t know how we kept our energy levels going. I opted for what I thought would be an easy option; walking the dog. He is an extremely large long haired German shepherd but a trifle nervous despite his stature. He walks very well on the lead till something spooks him, then he rears up like a horse and lurches to the side; but we managed to complete a 3-mile walk (twice). I enjoy walking, time to think, but not with a dog such as this.

We decided it would be a good option to take the children out, run some energy off them and get some fresh air. I dressed the little girl and managed very, I thought; only to be told the Velcro belt I had put round her was in fact a head band, she was more impressed with it round her middle and refused to have it on her head (I have started a new trend). Our trip onto the North York Moors took us through Danby and a chance to see sheep being sheared, wood carved and many country crafts, the children just wanted the swings that are there every time.

Onward to Hob Hole and the best part of the day, throwing stones in the beck and trying to fly a kite in very little wind, you can just imagine me running with the string and the young boy chasing the kites shadow as it darts over the grass. Larger stones make bigger splashes and you can’t throw them so far; so we all ended up a little wet. Time for home and some tea. I tried to explain about Hob Hole and how mischievous goblins used to live there, the 5-year old wanted to know more; where are they now? I began one of my stories that I had chased them away when I was a young boy, so how old were you and were they invisible, how did you see them, where did you get the magic glasses from.. .. .. I didn’t bargain for the inquisition but managed to cover most of it and promised a bedtime story about the whole episode.

Meal times were a riot and although all around the table were well behaved, the routine and actions were very different to the norm. It seams the whole friary has been turned upside down (in a nice way). It is always a challenge to experience something different, stepping out of our usual run of things, especially when it is for the benefit of others. Soon the friary will return to how it was, comfortable and predictable. I wonder how good it is for us to live in a predictable status?

Alnmouth Friary

2011-07-12T07:54:00.001+01:00

I sit in the library at Alnmouth friary, a room that has not changed in its purpose since its beginning. On both sides of this great bay window, nothing much has changed in almost 100 years. Some of the surface material of course is new, furniture, books, and outside, a golf course and greenery. Coquet island in the distance maintains its shape and the stone work of the window frames our view; the clouds have many different shapes but their familiar types denote our weather.

This is one of my favourite places and I think it is more to do with the quality of silence. Its 6am and the faint smell of incense lingers from last night’s lucinarium, (the chapel being immediately below me) and the echoes of plain chant still in my mind. There was a moment last night, at the end of the service, I did not want to leave; the everyday distractions were so far away from me, they had no hold.

I notice three young men approach the waters edge and cast their lines as far out into the sea as they can; the tide is on the turn. A little farther out in the estuary, a host of sea birds are performing intricate aerobatics and diving for fish. The spray of white foam as they plunge into the water is quite impressive, even from this distance. The movement and excitement is like an underwater firework display, some going in two or three at a time. This was a great treat for me, to witness a great mastery of both air and sea; climbing so high, to turn (almost back flip), dive and at the last minute, with wings swept back – splash.

In contrast, the advancing tide is no more than a smooth ripple, the gentle morning light shimmering across its surface, but slowly, and persistently, it pushes in; the two men with their cameras begin to retreat. I am reminded too that I also must retreat from this place, into the world that is my life, I take with me many things, the sights, sounds, and taste and smell, the conversations, laughs and thoughtful moments. I have appreciated company while still finding time for solitude; this silent place touches into the fabric of our soul and feeds us. The rhythm of the tide reminds us that this is a much needed part of our life and should not be an optional extra or fashion accessory.

Stepping into this different routine of prayer and silence is like trying one an old overcoat, that someone else has moulded; there is a surprise at how well it fits. Silence is kept between nine pm and nine am, breakfast in silence is not so strange if you don’t think about it. The silence drives thoughts to the emptiness, where speaking normally resides and presents us with a different level of awareness. Discipline in a routine, how ever that may fit into our life, will always overflow into the rest of our life, (in this case) becoming more content and focused. So do not trouble your mind with what will be; attend to the now, in serenity and confidence that Gods will is being effective in the moment.

Coquet Island.

Time

2011-07-06T06:11:00.005+01:00

Early morning and I am awake before the alarm again. Anticipating the chime and hanging on the moment to see if it will strike now.

In this moment I am picturing a clock makers shop, its not the kind of shop that displays its products for sale, but a range of time pieces from small to large, ornate to plain and very old classic to not so old. These are all cared for by the clock maker and wound

till almost tight (just right). The ticking of each clock is adjusted with fine attention, counting the seconds and giving substance to the passing of time.

Some of the clocks chime on the quarter hour and some on the hour; the time being set by the same clock maker. Although each clock counts the seconds, some tick at double speed and some seem very slow indeed. The moment has arrived - the o'clock marker and each clock, in its turn chimes, strikes; making its own sound in its own time. The room fills with individual sound, moving around the room as some begin moments before others, chimes in quick succession, longer and deeper ones; until silence save the ticking once more.

Note to morning office: Thank you for my individual time.

Light pervades

2011-06-07T18:23:00.001+01:00

Morning office:

Strange light this morning, the sun is risen,

light is diffused and spread evenly across the horizon.

It is as if light itself has been pressed and made uniform.

How will my day be levelled that I can see things in balance?

Too Late Posts

2011-05-27T21:59:00.001+01:00

The month is almost through and I seem to have written very little; at least here. Time has been spent in developing a new resource to be launched in September, I have also completed my Master Practitioner training in NLP – that was quite, an amazing journey.

Note to morning office:

Don’t seek a new piece of land to conquer and make it productive; instead, seek to regenerate what you already have.

Note to evening office:

The prayer book we use is not what's important; its the opening, turning the page, and giving time to God.

Saltburn Pier

2011-05-05T21:46:00.003+01:00

A challenging day; I took a short walk to the upper promenade.

Gazing at the pier stretching out into the sea, I saw its stability and determination to be nothing but a pier. It has no wheels or moving parts but people journey on this wooden deck; to look back at the town buildings and the bustle of life.

This structure has the ability, to take you to another place, above the land and the sea - and by its own position, to view things from a different corner.

Just what I needed.

Dufton Pike

2011-05-03T07:55:00.001+01:00

A lovely weekend, spent with friends. Times of sharing thoughts and dreams, concerns and choices, interspersed with laughter and love of one another.

Dufton Pike was too inviting, despite the strong wind; worth every step.

I could barely stand at the top as the wind took my breath away. The rest of the small band of travellers set off on the decent, I stayed awhile to take in the experience, intent on revisiting this experience throughout the coming weeks.

Psalm 2

O Spirit of God’s eternal springtime heart, grant me the virtue of elasticity. Make my heart as boundless as my Beloved’s heart which at this moment is creating new galaxies and infant suns.

Stir my mind well with your sacred spoon to awaken the fermentation of ideas. Stirred by the ten thousand little compromises required for me by the stiffness of the old leathered skins of society and religion.

In the bag

2011-04-26T06:17:00.009+01:00

I awoke this morning to the image of and extraordinarily large bag, so big I was able to climb right inside it. The bag was indeed large and empty, but there in the corner, between the stitching of the material was a precious stone.

I stood in the emptiness of the bag, holding everything, in my hand.

Note to morning office: Consider today emptiness and much may be achieved.

My Window

2011-04-08T08:00:00.001+01:00

I was sitting in my old chair, deep in my room - surrounded by my memories, furniture, pictures and books; withdrawn and safe within my world created.

The window surrounded by fabric and walls, allows light into this world of mine.

The morning sun in its colours of gold orange and yellow cast shadows that move swiftly across my world.

From where I sit, the view through my window is limited; occasionally a bird will fly past or circle in the distance.

Noises outside bring curiosity, and I rise to approach my window.

I breathe in familiar senses of this beautiful NEW world that is my present future.

A million shades of green

2011-03-31T20:58:00.001+01:00

Laughter abides in the tree at the bottom of our garden;

the cracking and popping of the buds and the rapid change in its shades of green.

The distant view through its branches, takes on a filter of foliage;

change is here, and what we now see, is something quite different.

Time

2011-02-28T00:13:00.001Z

Almost a week ago I began, not for the first time – a journey into rather than away from. Though the week was spent with others, it was very much time for self; the others, provided the reflection necessary, for the internal reference.

A story told, crammed with metaphors, lead us through fields to an old house; cared for by a very special couple. Visitors were clearly changed having spent time at this magical place; it was as if they could take some of the very fabric of the building with them. Cases packed, taxi waiting in the drive, each one carried out much more than they had brought.

Returning to places that have been important to us, is not always that easy. The woman in the story, after leaving the old house, paused on a bridge and gazed into the water; seeing herself looking back at her becoming.

This evening was spent at a Vin Garbutt gig, which I thoroughly enjoyed; he saved the best till last and sang “What’s the use of wings”.

Simple mysteries

2011-01-25T20:27:00.001Z

Testimony

2011-01-23T23:05:00.001Z

The purpose of a testimony is to encourage, and I want to encourage you.

I encourage you to imagine the impossible, because God is good at doing the impossible; you know when God is about, when incredible things happen – and the strange thing is, that these things often happen in the most normal of ways – because God is involved in the normal.

I could tell you many stories of incredible things and many normal things too; each one, leaving within, a sense of awe.

Each one requires a response, a response to change; to move forward.

The purpose of a testimony is to encourage us to change, as a response to a personal experience.

So imagine the impossible, find it in the normal and share it.

Ingredients

2011-01-15T10:59:00.001Z

I am not sure what makes a good blog or if we should define good, being dependant on number of hits. I have come to a conclusion that the Internet and it’s “Hits monitor” is just a lottery. “The post” on this modest site attracting most attention – 15th Feb 2009. I have no idea why this should be?

We all have a need to be accepted and occasionally to be told “your doing good”. Fame is quite another thing and I think that’s important for some and for others to aspire to. I was working recently with a young man and we were talking about confidence. Now this person has quite a lot of self confidence in some areas of his life – lack of confidence in other areas holds back growth and drives him into a stuck state, unable to move forward.

Imagine where we might not find confidence? We would not find it in any of the jars in a sweet shop, we could not fill a bucket of it from a stream, we can’t pick it from trees, it won’t arrive in the post and I am not going to win it in a lottery draw. In short, we came to the conclusion that confidence is not something that grows or develops, magically appears or that it can be strengthened by some form of exercise. Our theory is that each person has sufficient confidence for their needs; our ability to use this confidence is restricted by barriers and issues, both internal and external. Removing the blockages in the pipe-work allows the product to flow through.

Note to evening office: Lord, thank you for equipping me with all I need.

Without intention

2011-01-02T21:02:00.001Z

The silver birch in the friary garden, adorned by a beauty that was not of its making.

New years arrive more frequently than they used to (or at least, that is my perception). I am feeling I have more to look back upon than to look forward to. Until you begin to see the possibilities of what will go on beyond our time.

Moulding/ creating with a piece of clay in my hand; I shape and give form to to what was just a lump of clay. I begin to bring into being a thought, a feeling, an idea that is more than words or a sketch; this is more part of myself than I would dare to admit. It would take a fraction of a second to re-form this creation back to a lump of clay – so take a moment to hold it in the palm of your hand and try not to compare it to anything else (it is unique). As it stands, it is perfect; without criticism from within or without, it just is.

How easily we put down our dreams and creative thoughts in this competitive and critical world. It seems that when we compare our efforts to something else, this is when we decide we are not good enough. So the next time you get your hands on a piece of clay or plasticine, mould a thought and accept it as perfect, comparing it to nothing else.

Note to evening office: I am a creative being, moulded by the creator – who said He was pleased with what he saw.

Christmas morning

2010-12-25T06:49:00.001Z

Merry Christmas this special morning, full of promise and hope from One so small and vulnerable.

Bright morning star.

Visitors

2010-12-08T22:08:00.001Z

The biggest visitor recently is the snow. We in England take very badly to it as everything seems to stop; goodness knows how we would cope in other countries. My walks through the woods towards Saltburn have been wonderful.

The sun coming through the viaduct promising a little warmth (but not for a while yet).

This jolly character looked pleased to be resting but was not in the mood for conversation.

The visitor who was interesting to spend time with was George, known as The Pebbleman or Dr Geebers. George is passing through our seaside town and leaving his mark in both the pebble sculptures he builds and those he speaks to. He welcomed me into his temporary home (under the road) beside his stone creation. Follow the link above for further info on this homeless young man, the photo below is George at Saltburn.

The sun was shinning, but trust me it was cold and since then we have had temperatures below minus10.

Note to evening office:

I saw a stranger yestereen,
I put food in the eating place
Drink in the drinking place
Music in the listening place
And in the sacred name of the Triune
He blessed myself and my house
My cattle and my dear ones
As the lark said in her song ‘Often, often, often
Goes Christ in the stranger’s guise.’

Big Sky

2010-10-24T09:13:00.001+01:00

Just the other morning, the sky looked so big; unlike the picture above, the clouds were few and thin. Almost transparent and defined only by the radiant light.

The more I gazed at the sky, the bigger it seemed; the word canopy, did not fit with my feelings. I was quickly being transported from earthly things; I had a sense that the higher I went, the thinner the curtain would become. There appeared to be a real possibility of passing right through the curtain without even realising it.

Note to morning office:

I lift my eyes unto the Lord.

He is my rock and my salvation.

Night light

2010-10-17T16:24:00.001+01:00

Almost everyone had left after evening prayer and I took the opportunity to to capture some of the atmosphere through my lens. A wonderful weekend conference in Derbyshire with amazing people from Trinidad & Tobago, America and all parts of the British Isles.

A week later and I have just returned from a lovely walk, and I have brought back with me three reflections; I was joined by a good friend as I listened to her on my teaching CD as I walked. Somewhere on the CD’s she makes reference to walking and always to doing a circuit, i.e. not to come back the same was as you go; well I am quite content to enjoy the view ahead of me and it is so much different on the way back! Also I can calibrate my time and distance better. This time I purposely left my watch, mobile and most of all my camera at home – no distractions.

Part of my journey took me past allotments these are random plots of land given over to gardening and here, also to some pips and hens. I am fascinated at to ingenuity of people that lay their hands on anything to build shelter, fences, containers to collect water and plastic bottles to blow in the wind and scare away the birds. Lastly I noticed the heavy laden branches of berries, red and black; one particular holly tree seemed more red than green, some would say it is the sign of a hard winter.

Further news on the old binoculars, they have moved to Redcar under the supervision of the little boys father. I on the other hand have been fortunate to borrow a relatively large telescope and at last can see the markings of Jupiter and it’s moons, I can see this being a marvellous distraction these clear winter nights.

Note to evening office:

Without the wind, we cannot hear the trees.

The EDGE

2010-09-19T19:38:00.001+01:00

Vision

2010-09-12T16:02:00.001+01:00

A 4-year old visitor to the friary today was fascinated with my old binoculars. I offered them to him, so he could watch the ships coming into port; he told me he already had a bright red pair.

I took time to explain never to look into the sun through these binoculars and how to adjust the focus. Would he understand the words focus, blurred, sharp or clear?

The old binoculars live on the landing windowsill and are set for my eye correction, they would need some adjustment before anyone else could use them. By handing these glasses to someone else does not guarantee them to see the same as I do.

The little boys bright red binoculars probably came free with a comic and have only clear plastic lenses; ideal for his world at the moment. For now, he understands that things in the distance can become clearer and he can come and take these glasses when he is ready.

Note to evening office: When curiosity finds a method; change often follows.

The nearest faraway place.

2010-09-07T22:12:00.001+01:00

Its easy to be caught up in the daily doings, what ever they may be. Consumed by our work, home and all the other stuff that just keeps happening; you know what I mean. Just give me 5-minutes, I’ll do it later, I need to get away, I can manage!

I enjoy photography but I think that is just an excuse to go for a walk, a time to be on my own and to empty my head, or to process some of my concerns. The other morning after delivering an envelope I headed into the valley gardens and soon found myself by the river side, (fairy glen). I sat with my back against an old tree closed my eyes and just listened to the water. I was fascinated by the different sounds as the river rushed on by; I widened my listening and drew in the sounds of birds, trees in the wind and squirrels rustling in the leaves. It was as if I had stepped into another world and during this stay, my energy levels were being increased, the day at work seamed to go better, I was more at ease with myself and others.

Spirituality is not just about going to church; its about discovery; we can’t always find it in the busyness of the day. Jesus often went off on his own into the wilderness; I think he means for us to do the same. Someday in the future we may have booths we can step into and have light images and sound around us creating in us a better mood? For me, I’ll stick to my walks in the woods and on the beach listening to the wildness of the sea.

Banjolin

2010-08-29T08:28:00.001+01:00

On my 12th birthday my parents gave me a Ukulele banjo; I was so excited. Within the day I could play “Little brown jug”, I loved the banjo but school friends were not impressed, guitars were more the fashion; the banjo laid idle in the wardrobe. Years later I sold it to a guy who could really play and it seemed better in his hands than mine; this was after my father had died.

Many more years later I regretted the sale and contacted the guy who was then retired; I explained the sentimental value of the banjo and he agreed to sell it back to me. I was more surprised by the price for he insisted on the same £15 that I sold it to him. I was so pleased to have it back and once again it went into the wardrobe. The old banjo came out from time to time and again I would play “Little brown jug”.

Recently, again talking about the old banjo, I heard of a banjo workshop at the local pub and turned up with my banjo under my arm. I was told that my old banjo is actually a banjolin and should have steel strings to get the best sound; now after 45 years I have the chance to really play the old banjo.

Note to morning office: Its all about using the things you have and not leaving them to gather dust; you might as well not have them. Letting go of things not used is an ongoing challenge – first identify them.

Assumption

2010-08-15T19:52:00.001+01:00

Harvesting has already begun, probably due to the lack of rain; this photo was taken on an early morning walk just a few weeks ago.

I try not to get caught up in discussion about Mary, Theotokos (Mother of God) but I feel uplifted by the words of the Magnificat, used by Teams of Our Lady.

My soul magnifies the Lord
And my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour

I feel as if I want to shout - WOW! right after that part……

Transfiguration

2010-08-08T18:46:00.001+01:00

The feast of the Transfiguration and today's Eucharist seemed extra special, experiencing that thin place between heaven and earth – complexity and simplicity.

This is not something that can be prescribed, manufactured or reserved. Something that happens without announcement and finds us holding our breath and wondering just what is happening.

Walking along the river Tees at Preston Park last week, I captured the delicate shades of this flower against the flowing river and above, the spiral staircase; more simplicity – complexity.

Note to evening office: Remember I am not just earthly bound.

Past Present & Future.

2010-07-27T20:30:00.001+01:00

During this last month there have been many re-connections with folk from long ago. Cousins, friends and just this week an old school chum who I have not seen in 41-years (when we left school). Some have been off the radar for only a couple of years but some for over twenty; it has been quite weird how this has all happened in just a few weeks.

The photos I am including today were copied from glass slides and were taken (or at least once owned) by Leo Atkinson, Scout leader of 3rd South Bank St Peters. Also you can see by the football that the team were St Brendan’s Middlesbrough 1903; I am amazed at the quality of some of these old slides.

A days hike…….

We see today as a result of our yesterdays and step forward with excitement for the future; for it will be what we make it.

Hastings 1066

2010-07-19T08:27:00.001+01:00

Its nice to be back; Hastings, Bexhill and Battle. A lovely break meeting friends old and new. This was a part working holiday with a retreat at Ashburnham Place. Time away is often an opportunity to take stock and look forward, a time away from the routine and busyness; the distractions that prevent forward thinking.

The challenge now of course

is to follow it through.

John 1:12

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God,

The Dawn

2010-06-21T17:29:00.001+01:00

Note to evening office:

Stop searching David; and let the discoveries dawn upon you.

Fathers Day

2010-06-20T13:20:00.001+01:00

Father of all,
we give you thanks and praise,
that when we were still far off
you met us in your Son and brought us home.

Early in the morning

2010-06-18T07:43:00.001+01:00

Monday the 14th and an early walk to meet the sun.

Holy Holy Holy, Lord God almighty, early in the morning our song shall rise to thee….

All thy works shall praise Thy name in earth and sky and sea.

Saltburn by the Sea.

Note to morning office: May I rise to the newness of each day.

3rd South Bank St Peters

2010-05-28T20:22:00.010+01:00

Bluebird

Back in 1966 a young boy was part of a scout group near Middlesbrough; they were due to put on (what I believe) was their first and only Gang Show. Much practising went into the production and help was drafted in from the area. I still have the programme somewhere and must find it out. The rendition above of Bluebird has yours truly somewhere in there; nobody seemed to worry too much about staying in tune.

Now I have found the programme, I can see it was May 1966 and a celebration of their 40 years. Someone had the foresight to set up - what was - even then an old spool tape recorder. Being a bit of a techno... and having the original tape in our family, I did a conversion to modern cassette tape. I now find myself years later converting it all to Mp3.

Back in 1930, my fathers scout master was Leo Atkinson and mine in 1966 was

Derek Maughn (Skip). Happy days.

Note to evening office: Taps -

Day is done, gone the sun,

from the hills, from the lake from the sky.

All is well, safely rest,

God is nigh.

A Change Reaction

2010-05-18T07:42:00.001+01:00

Change comes as a reaction to a situation, others, emotion, nature or an internal thought.

Most of the time we talk about our reaction to change but the opposite is true; change comes from reaction.

I sometimes think, that putting it this way round, helps me deal better with change.

Permanence

2010-05-12T09:09:00.001+01:00

There is a certain quiet that envelopes us when we stand and become aware of the things that don’t move. I am thinking now of the mountains, trees, dry-stone walls, valleys and rivers.

It instils a sense of security and knowledge that we journey only a short distance.

We look for stability in our lives and remembrance is an important process: anchoring to places, scenery, structure – things that do not move. I recognise the feeling while I stand and gaze; and begin to see what it is I am looking at.

Mid-day office:

Let nothing disturb thee, nothing affright thee;
all things are passing, God never changeth!
Patient endurance attaineth to all things;
who God possesseth in nothing is wanting;
alone God sufficeth.

Keeping your head down

2010-05-09T17:27:00.001+01:00

Most times I avoid difficult situations, confrontations; especially in the people/ emotional areas. It is more often a case of – wait till the dust settles, keep your head down or – wait till someone else does something, then it will sort itself out.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, its just the getting there (in the darkness) that is the struggle. But perhaps if I learn through my struggles, then there won’t be so many tunnels? Just gritting your teeth to get through the darkness is a good way of coping but in the long run; looking at the process may be better.

378-yard tunnel on the Kendal canal [Hincaster tunnel].

Tree of knowledge.

2010-05-07T08:29:00.001+01:00

Last week saw me over at Kendal with some friends. The weather was fantastic and I managed a couple of walks. We stayed at a converted barn (very grand) with a disused canal at the bottom of the field. The canal is mostly dried up now so the greenery is really taking over; cowslips and bluebells amongst the bright new green.

Our life is full of questions, it is difficult to start a conversation without a question: how are you? What have you been doing recently? Did you know? Have you heard? Our need to satisfy our questions are now met by the Internet; any question may be asked and an answer will be given. We can ask questions that we would never ask in company of others, not wishing to appear stupid. We can check information and impress our knowledge to those around us. Conversations are vehicles of information exchange and what we know about the world, its issues and people becomes extremely important.

Conversations with God are, in the main somewhat different; based on requests rather than questions. I guess it may have something to do with the fact we don’t expect an answer. We make requests and wait for a result; this is ok of course, we are God’s children.

The Moody Blues – “I’m looking for someone to change my life”.

“Its the more the way you really mean it when you tell me what will be.”

Note to morning office: Try to ask God three questions today; and expect answers.

Empty Inbox

2010-04-21T07:50:00.003+01:00

There is nothing in the Inbox, no letters through the door and the phones are silent;

I am poised, waiting for something to happen. Something has to happen, otherwise what will I do?

The importance of being ready does not outweigh the act of being found waiting.

It is in the act of creativity for oneself, that grows who we are and to become more complete.

I have a large piece of clean paper, pens, colours and glue; materiel and many ways of joining them together. I have words, thoughts, ideas; visions and dreams. I have things so exciting, they scare me and feelings that take my breath away.

The more we let out, that which is within; the less we rely on outward things, to drive who we are.

My thoughts and dreams are no different to yours – Dare to be different…..

A Mist of Greenery

2010-04-14T19:22:00.001+01:00

It is noticeable recently how things are beginning to green up.

Each one takes its turn; buds and leaves bursting into life.

An orchestra of greenery, conducted by nature itself.

“ Just listen to it ”!

Merry-go-Round

2010-03-28T16:56:00.001+01:00

Probably my most favourite book as a child was The Faraway Tree with all its characters and adventures; the tree in itself was a whole community, from the Saucepan man to Dame Washalot and of course old Moonface who provided a safe exit from danger, down the slippery-slip.

Reaching the top of the tree was only the beginning, for there, reaching up beyond the clouds was along ladder. Each day at the top of the ladder a new land was to be found; a land of Dreams, a land of Spells and a land of Tempers. I have been thinking recently about Merry-go-rounds and beginning to wonder if I have been carried away by the Land of Merry-go-rounds; you see, if you do not make it back to the ladder in time, you could indeed be carried away.

The merry-go-round seems to travel so fast, yet once on the merry-go-round, everything outside this space seems be be going twice/ ten times as fast. Time seems slow to those who are in the spin and once off the merry-go-round I seem to have missed so much. There is much more to this story as there are so many merry-go-rounds. Come on old Moonface, what is the secret? how do we jump from one to another and not miss what is happening in between?

The Faraway Tree by Enid Blyton. Illustrations by Dorothy M Wheeler.

Pustinia Door

2010-03-24T23:52:00.001Z

Light bursts into my day

I reach for the shades to hide my eyes

impossible to look directly into the light

but it is the light

that enables me to see all things.

The view

2010-03-08T07:55:00.001Z

Looking out of my window, I notice the view never changes; ok, so the trees have grown over the years and we have a few more houses, but essentially it hasn’t changed.

Each morning I look out with expectant eyes and frequently I am not disappointed, for the changes are immense.

Light itself changes colour, mood, depth and clarity, the sense of distance and my perception of environment changes; how I feel inside is a response to this outward view.

Note to morning office: You are the light of the world, may I change in response to You.

Into the light

2010-03-07T08:15:00.001Z

The big church in Saltburn are having another art exhibition, the theme is “into the light”. One of the ladies of the parish asked if would submit a photo, I did some last time on creation.

I had many thoughts and most of them based on the fact that it was too difficult for us to look directly at the light; reflected by water, through glass, trees etc - sounded the best route. I went in search of tall buildings, Banks, Churches and found myself in the back streets and alleyways.

We see light from our darkness, from the shadows, I tried to capture the effect of light and how it eats into the vertical darkness and tears into the shadows; the added presence of light on the garbage cans was a bonus.

Note to evening office: Illuminate my shadows.

Arncliffe woods

2010-03-06T08:27:00.001Z

A long promised walk was finally found; I thought about two hours would be good, but due to ice and a slight detour it lasted more than four. The path was so frozen that I had real difficulty getting up the hill and into the woods, I am glad no-one could see me as I took one step up and slid my whole length back; it was like an old silent movie. Probably due to the weather there were no other brave walkers, just the sound of the swelling river as it hurried over the great sandstone boulders. Movement caught my eye as two small dear darted through the trees, I was amazed that something running so fast made hardly a sound.

It was more than just a walk, I was on a quest, weeks ago I decided on this walk, to find the wishing stone and a part of the woods that I remembered when I was young; this was to form a central part of my book (which is very slow work in progress).

I felt I was well prepared, with camera, binoculars, mobile phone, waterproof jacket and boots; an ice pick and crampons would have been better, I soon found a stout stick that helped to keep me vertical. I think I was more worried about my camera!

The scars and sandstone outcrops are evidence of mining, Glaisdale was abundant in iron ore and in 1865 three blast furnaces were built in this small Esk Valley town. The path is made up of large sandstone blocks leading on, higher and away from the river, the sound of the water becoming deeper in the distance, slowly being taken over by the quiet of the trees.

It was easier to walk on the verges as the stones were like trying to walk on ice cubes; I decided to head up away from the path as I felt the wishing stone was much higher as I recalled. I did find one stone that resembled it but decided this was much smaller than I remembered. Further on still I caught my breath as I saw and remembered the wishing stone; there it was, as big as ever and with that big crack running through the middle, I wanted to run to it.

I stood and looked at it for such a long time, photographing different angles; I felt I could still hear the shout of us as children jumping and climbing over it; it is a magical stone and of course I couldn’t resist but to walk through the stone and make a wish.

My quest to find the second special place was not to be, try as I might it remained hidden. Further on still I left the path again and headed towards the the edge of the steep cliff with the river below and trees forming as it were a safety wall that I might not fall off the edge. I had found a different place that was indeed special, a sense of security and peace; I am sure I could have stayed there all day.

Note to morning office: Not all magic is about wizards and spells, its good to have a dream; MAKE A WISH!

Northumbria visit

2010-02-25T08:00:00.001Z

Thank you everyone for a great few days.

View Full Album

The Great North Road

2010-02-18T20:52:00.001Z

Looking forward to a short break – two nights in a Bothy near Edinburgh; then on to Hetton Hall to visit friends at Northumbria Community. Sounds like heaven to me…..

Inside the Chapel at Hetton Hall, Northumbria.

Story teller

2010-02-09T21:20:00.001Z

I started this post a while ago with just the title and a recipe; what on earth was I going to write about? Almost a month a go and so much has happened it would be impossible to catch up and difficult to summarise; perhaps it is best left gone?

Mums anniversary on Sunday (2-years) and we are only a little closer to doing the recipe book “Grandma’s favourite recipes”. This sort of thing has been done before of course but we will attempt to enfold some of the character and story behind the dish; I know, half the fun will be trying them out to see if they still taste the way they did.

Last week I received an email from yet another cousin (I have around 60 in total), this was a very pleasant surprise as he had found and copied an old photo of my dad and I; it certainly brought a tear to my eye. Cousin Joe remarked how it reminded him of the song by Luther Vandross “Dancing with my father again”.

We tell stories in many ways, writing and speaking, serving and giving. Through pictures and taste, aroma and touch; we convey part of what & who we are to those around us, who begin to know us and love us in return.

White stuff

2010-01-17T21:38:00.001Z

How we are restricted when covered with snow; communication grinds to a halt and we retreat to our burrow. Beaten by the white stuff, cold and deep, filling the pantry with food and drink. Clearing our small path to the edge of the road as if that will put everything right.

I got to use the telephone much more recently, contacting folk who I had not seen in a long time, and better, fixing dates to go and spend time with them.

Here's to the spring of 2010.

Chocolate Jig-Saw

2010-01-08T16:37:00.001Z

Hemmed in by snow has its good points; an opportunity to catch up on little chores and dig out a good Jig-saw. I have not done a jig-saw for a long time. This one is 1,000 piece and of chocolate bars from 1960. A simple strategy of – outside bits first then some major item/ detail, except that this is just full of detail.

Each piece I pick up, I can recognise and should be able to piece it together; I have to focus on say, just 3 chocolate bas at a time other wise I would be all over the place. I thought I knew a lot about jig-saws and learned a lot about life strategies by doing them; but this one was different. I remember one industrial business, when interviewing for staff would ask; what are you like at jig-saws’ a good question!

Anyway – here is the finished article.

One of the outside pieces managed to hide itself till I was down to the last 100 pieces…..

Snowflakes dance

2010-01-03T13:21:00.001Z

A view from the back door with some of my favourite music – Debussy; Snowflakes are dancing – they really do.

Limber hill

2009-12-29T23:21:00.001Z

Beggars bridge – Glaisdale North Yorkshire, earlier this year and in better weather.

Extremely slippy this morning, cars were struggling to negotiate the minor roads, the melting snow had frozen to a sheet of glass, but determined drivers spun on; this all reminded me of a youthful pastime.

Just beyond Beggars bridge is the steepest road in England – Limber hill’s gradient is 1-in-3 and back in the 60’s there was a polite notice at the bottom of the hill, “Stop your vehicle and engage first gear”. These were the days before synchromesh gears and foolhardy drivers would charge at the hill, expecting to reach the top. We would sit at the river side and watch the cars approaching, guessing; will he make it or won’t he? Such laughter as the embarrassed driver reversed back down the hill.

There was also much fun to be had beyond Ashley house and the tennis courts, for this is where we would take our bikes. We would push our rickety old two wheelers as far up the bank as we dared and free wheeled all the way to “The Travellers Rest inn” – all this and sliding down the Nab till our jeans were as green as the bracken.

Note to evening office: Main roads are usually clear but we will not reach home until we negotiate the slippery side roads.

Bellwood house Ugthorpe – built by my Gt Grandfather

Revealing

2009-12-28T09:50:00.001Z

Early morning mist is clearing, revealing woodland and home; for those awakening in the houses below it must seem a bleak looking day. The air is crisp and to see so far in the clear light is encouraging, this is a morning walk before the snow we have today.

I don’t often amaze myself but recently a friend recommended a book “The Christmas Mystery” by Jostein Gaarder – I read this book in less than a week, which for me is unheard of. Some of the quotes that will remain with me are :-

“But it is important to be happy about the little you have. However little it is, it's infinitely more than nothing”.

“There are two ways of becoming wise. One is to travel out into the world and see as much as possible of God's creation. The other is to put down roots in one spot and to study everything that happens there in as much detail as you can. The trouble is that it's impossible to do both at the same time”.

“God's kingdom is open to everyone, even people who travel without a ticket”.

Regarding the lovely wild flowers – the angel nodded mysteriously “They are part of the glory of heaven that has strayed down to earth” he explained. “You se there is so much glory in heaven that it can easily spill over”.

This book reveals more than just a Christmas mystery and as it came to the closing chapters, I did not want it to end; I didn’t want to know the answers, I was more than happy with the story itself.

Note to evening office: something revealed is not necessarily earth shattering.

Christmas Cards

2009-12-16T18:27:00.001Z

I am surrounded by Christmas cards, address’s, lists of contacts; and there are so many. Already the postman has delivered a good bundle of greetings and wishes of good health this festive season. Each one is a moment in itself, full of memories and longing to be wherever they are. Recapturing times of laughter and tears – deep feelings of belonging to so many places and times, it sets the emotions in a spin. Primarily guilt, I should have spoken to this person sooner – has it really been a year since we wrote to each other.

I believe there is a knowing between such folk, that - if needs must - we would be there for each other; as it is – what is pressing, are other matters and they need to be attended to. However, it is good to escape to the daily visit of the postman and indulge in affectionate memories.

Note to evening office: I thank the Lord that I have the capacity to love to the level that I am – and that is sufficient for the plan He has for me.

Brer Rabbit

2009-12-11T23:28:00.001Z

I decided to purchase a Brer Rabbit story book as a birthday present for someone special; there's nothing strange about that? This all began when I was talking to a young mother who was separated from her 7-year old son and struggling making ends meet. She wanted to buy him something nice for Christmas but clearly hadn’t the money to spare; the boy had almost everything he wanted, this was not something she could compete with. I tried to hint for her to make something but art & craft were not her thing.

I began to tell her about my Aunt Celia and how we would go down each night to fasten in the chickens, her bedtime stories were famous to many of us children and I’m sure many more after us. She had time for us and made us feel special; after all the Christmas presents are gone and forgotten, its about those who made you feel special.

My Aunt Celia is also my godmother and it is her birthday next week, so the Brer Rabbit book is for her. A book to say thank you for all the bedtime stories, even the night she threw my teddy to me and burst my nose! Perhaps it was Aunt Celia that inspired my story telling.

Note to morning office: Help me make someone feel special today.

Gabriel

2009-12-10T23:06:00.001Z

Music by Ennio Morricone – Gabriel’s oboe.

Gabriel, second in the rank of archangels, one of seven angels who stand ever-ready to enter the presence of God and be his messenger to mankind. He interpreted for Daniel the vision of the Ram and the He-goat, which foretold the destruction of the Persian empire. According to tradition he announced to Joachim and Anna the impending conception St Mary the virgin and told Zacharias that he would become the father of St John the Baptist. His supreme task was as the angel of the Annunciation when he was sent to tell Mary that she was the woman chosen to bear Jesus. Although not named, Gabriel is also assumed to be the angel who announced the birth of Samson to his mother and the one who brought glad tidings at the birth of the Messiah to the shepherds. According to tradition it was Gabriel who comforted Jesus during his agony in the garden of Gethsemane. He is also revered in Islam because he dictated the Koran to Mahomet.

It is said that it is Gabriel that will sound the horn to announce the end of time. Advent, (coming) a time of expectant waiting and preparation.

Note to morning office: Am I ready?

Christmas rush

2009-12-08T19:01:00.001Z

Inevitably we all get caught up in the rush towards Christmas, there is no escape – (even in a friary).

When charging down a hill on a bike with poor brakes, we would use our feet to stop and get into trouble for scuffing our shoes. Arriving late to a party with wind swept hair, clothing wet and crumpled; makes us feel like turning round and missing it completely.

The event is already prepared for us, it is our presence that is required; not our presents.

Dreams

2009-12-07T09:23:00.001Z

A strange dream last night, I saw the Earth in the night sky from my kitchen window. Apart from being in the kitchen I knew I had not left planet Earth and that in fact I was looking at a mirage effect; a reflection of Earth from somewhere out in the solar system. The vision captivated me and I wanted to rush for the camera, though I knew it may last for only a few seconds.

What are dreams all about? Well I am not into analysing that kind of stuff! However, the thought of being able to look at ourselves (given this momentary window) is something to ponder on - at least for today.

Have a great week. – David..

Getting ahead

2009-12-03T09:00:00.001Z

Its the time of year when I wish I had done more preparation. The Christmas card list should be there to pick up, complete with current address and post codes. As it is I will be, once again relying on my poor memory and hoping not to forget anyone.

Efforts to re-organise my diary have been successful, I now use Outlook and keep appointments that before, too often escaped me. However, this did not extend to my home/ personal life and Tuesday caught me out once again; these are my worst nightmares, letting people down, seeming that I don’t care. Back to the drawing board and I am now running a dual calendar in Outlook (what an amazing program) and nothing should be lost; I can even print out a month ahead and drop it into my filo-fax.

Br Cyril makes me smile, he tends to wear multiple layers of vest, shirt, jersey and cardigans; this reminds me of Aunt Mary. She would potter around in more skins than an onion and would say “well, if I gets ta hot I can all’as tak yan off” [Yorkshire dialect]. Its not long ago that there was no such thing as central heating or even electric lights, carrying a candle to bed with a hot water bottle was common. Doing a little Christmas shopping last night I looked at the new LED TV screens; the picture quality is incredible. Only two or three years ago the in thing was Plasma or LCD – 38 years ago, TV’s were powered by glass valves and colour was still a new idea. What next? I hear 3D TV is in the offing.

Eye water

2009-12-02T09:24:00.001Z

Early morning at the friary and I thought I had better do a little ironing (we are a little behind in that department). iPod plugged in and the rest of the world slipped into another space.

My good friend Dana wrote recently about tears and I had to say to her this is not a common state for me. Perhaps it was the music – The Priests, Pie Jesu. There is something about Latin, sung and with such emotion; my eyes filled up and I didn’t know why. I am of an age that still remembers the Latin Mass, Benediction and Corpus Christi marches through the town. This emotional water is more than just nostalgia, more than reminiscing; my feelings were that of the communion of saints.

Note to morning office: Communion of saints extends to those still with us; who shall we meet today?

Gratitude

2009-11-27T22:21:00.001Z

Thank You for Your goodness, Ever Giving God,
for the goodness of this place and work,
for the goodness of one another,
for the goodness of all creation,
and even for our own goodness,
all of which is merely a part of Yours.

You volunteer Your Love to us, freely and without limit,
You volunteer to come among us as a human being in Jesus.
You volunteer to be wherever the pain is,
wherever people are poor, rejected, ignorant, and alone.
You volunteer to be on both sides of everything.
And You have taught us how resurrection happens.

We do not serve here because we think the Centre is perfect,
but because we know You are perfect.
We do not work here for any material gain,
but for the coming of the Reign of God in all hearts.
We volunteer our lives because You did it first:
You are the Great Outpouring God,
You are the Eternal Yes of Jesus,
You are the Abiding Presence of Spirit in all things.

We offer this prayer in thanksgiving
because You are first praying
in us, through us, and with us.

Amen

A prayer for volunteers Richard Rhor – seemed right to pray this at the end of a busy day at the project and I am sure we will use it often…

Young - Simplicity

2009-11-22T23:44:00.001Z

Spending time with the very young is priceless and this one 3-year old was just more than special. Its that questioning time, when everything is why and just as you think all is well; there's another question. The question that really caught me off my guard was something that came while he was doing something else and quite out of the blue “where is grandma” the house went silent for a moment, then “she’s in heaven with Jesus”. The little boy replied “but I want her back” and that was all we heard from him. This lingered long with me, as adults we deal with loss and know what to say and when best to say nothing at all. There really is nothing wrong with saying “I want her back”.

Much later in the day, a stream of questions – “where is heaven, does grandma have a house there, who is Jesus” and “has he always lived there”. My answers were futile, try as I might they lead only to more questions; this young boy was searching me and my knowledge of the above – “do children go to heaven”; help! I felt inadequate and lacking in simple answers, I don’t usually have this difficulty when talking to teens and older folk; I guess they already have some preconceived ideas that I can work with, but this is a child – pure and simple. Jesus words regarding the teaching of children were firm and Matt 18

²He called a little child and had him stand among them. ³And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. ⁴Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Note to morning office: may I think before I teach and speak to the child inside.

The heritage of Quoits

2009-11-18T20:03:00.001Z

Quoits is a game I never got round to playing seriously, we used to lark about as kids and made our own pitch now and then; to others this was a very serious game and competition between village teams and individuals was keen. Older cousins and uncles would head out on an evening to a quoits match, this would usually involve a glass of beer or two and therefore attract us as spectators. The photo above is John White playing off against his son Andrew, Andrew turned out to be as good a player as his dad and beating him to the pin on a number of occasions. I am grateful to Ian McDonald of Grosmont and his pictures on Amber Online; these were taken in 1979.

There used to be a very special occasion, generally around this time of year. This was the Quoits handicap (Fr Pat Bluett trophy) a chance for any new comer to steal a prize. I remember my first time at the “Ugthorpe Quoits night”, apart from the players prizes there were the winners of the raffle, domino drive; why do I mention all that? Well first up to sing is the winner of the trophy (while the trophy itself is being filled up behind the bar); then come the other prize winners each with a song of their choosing. The trophy begins its trip round the room, each person drinking the health of the winner. Now I have to say I was only a mere 17-years (or was it 16) and I was on strict instructions from my dad to only wet my lips on the cup. Once all the prize winners had sung it fell on the last one to nominate the next singer; there was no escape. Dad would sing his favourite Irish song Mush, Mush, Mush tural-i-addy and as years went by and many more Quoits nights it became impossible for me to leave without singing “thee Dad’s song”. There was so much more than the strange metal ring thrown from one end of the pitch to the other, much more than the strange terms – Gater – Frenchman – Hill-up – Trig-man. This is a farming community, handing down skills in the field, in sport and socialising; looking back now, we learned a lot considering we didn’t play.

Long journey home

2009-11-03T21:19:00.001Z

It was a long trek last week to Kent, another funeral and another mix of feelings.

My travelling companion was a indeed a Kentish maid, born in Bromley and now living in North Yorkshire. The long haul was lightened with my iPod. A while ago I discovered the shuffle mode (Wow)! having Gregorian Chant music followed by Classical then Pink Floyd and The Moody Blues. This did not seem to phase my companion as she sang along with the 60’s – 70’s Pop. I do wonder if we could be fitted with a Pause/ Fast forward/ Rewind button – now the Shuffle would be an interesting option; I can relate to that. Life is more shuffle than anything else but I think I like it that way… ?

Heading south on the A1 just past Grantham, we decided to find a service station for coffee and a rest. I knew I had just passed one and decided a smaller services would be just fine; particularly as I needed to stop soon! In the distance I could see a petrol station on the northbound side and then spotted a tall advertising tower on the opposite side; great, looks like this will do us. I began to slow down and not wanting to miss the slip road I began to indicate and pull off. Here we are I said, this will do…. What a surprise, I had turned off into what I could now see as “The Sexy Store” Perhaps not! I could not get back onto the A1 quick enough; but we did laugh (a lot).

The return journey was without event, lots of music (À la shuffle) such as Blue Guitar by Hayward/ Lodge. A tiring week but not without its smiles.

Visiting Spain

2009-10-26T15:57:00.016Z

A time to get away from the norm, step out of the routine and allow ones self to be carried along a different road. In the way of Pip, I would perhaps choose five words:-

Sheltered

Defended

Facinating

Restful

Clarity

I do of course need to inclde a sixth - Friends; because without these, the rest would have been a little boring.
Cheers all.

..

Family - friends

2009-10-08T00:10:00.007+01:00

A recent funeral and gathering of family, it is noticeable how the uncles and aunts are greatly out-numbered by the cousins; meeting cousins I had not seen in 20 plus years was staggering. Familiar faces that I struggle to see the child I remember, but then as the conversation takes hold and we recapture the old stories of holidays and expeditions, it all comes back (well, most of it).

Ken who we used to live next door to us in Middlesbrough over 47-years ago, we moved away when I was only 8 and I am sure I have not seen him since.

I can't quite get over Andrew and how alike he is to our paternal grand father, even following his footsteps in joinery. I sincerely hope we can keep in touch, though I know my weakness in this area.

We deal very well with things close up but once in the distance they seem unreachable; cousins from all corners of the UK, Jamaica and a man made floating island just off the coast of Mexico "Joyskey" - Rishi and I had a great chat about past and future.

Armour of God

2009-09-19T00:03:00.005+01:00

This is a long story but really just wanted to share this prayer, it was almost 20-years ago when I was first given it and was out of print then. I have a picture that for years now has matched this (opposite); drawn by a young man I worked with for some time. We talked a lot about the armour of God.

Heavenly Father, I desire to be obedient by being strong in the Lord and the power of Your might. I see that this is Your will and purpose for me. I recognize that it is essential to put on the armor that You have provided, and I do so now with gratitude and praise that You have provided all I need to stand in victory against Satan and his kingdom. Grant me wisdom to discern the tactics and sneakiness of Satan’s strategy against me. Enable me to wrestle in victory against the princes, powers, rulers, and wicked spirits who carry the battle of darkness against me. I delight to take the armor You have provided and by faith to put it on as effective spiritual protection against the spiritual forces of darkness.

I confidently take the loin girdle of truth that You offer me. I take Him who is the truth as my strength and protection. I reject Satan’s lies and deceiving ways to gain advantage against me. Grant me discernment and wisdom to recognize the subtle deceiving ways in which Satan seeks to cause me to accept his lies as truth. I desire to believe only the truth, to live the truth, to speak the truth, and to know the truth. I worship and praise You that You lead me only in the ways of truth. Thank You that Satan cannot stand against the bold use of truth.

Thank You for the breastplate of righteousness which you offer me. I eagerly accept it and put it on as my protection.Thank You for reminding me again that all of my righteousness comes from You. I embrace that righteousness which is mine by faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. It is His righteousness that is mine through justification. I reject and repudiate all trust in my own righteousness which is as filthy rags. I ask You to cleanse me of all the times I have counted my own goodness as being acceptable before You. I bring the righteousness of my Lord directly against all of Satan’s workings against me. I express my desire to walk in righteousness before God today. By faith I appropriate the righteousness of Christ and invite Him to walk in His holiness in my life today that I might experience His righteousness in total context of ordinary living. I count upon the righteousness of my Lord to be my protection. I know that Satan must retreat from before the righteousness of God.

Thank You, Lord, for the sandals of peace You have provided. I desire that my feet should stand on the solid rock of the peace that You have provided. I claim the peace with God which is mine through justification. I desire the peace of God which touches my emotions and feelings through prayer and sanctification (Phil 4:6). Thank You that as I walk in obedience to You that the God of peace promises to walk with me (Phil 4:9), that as the God of peace You are putting Satan under my feet (Ro 16:20). I will share this good news of peace with all others today that Your Spirit will bring into my life and witness. Thank You that You have not given me the spirit of fear but of love and power and a sound mind (2 Ti 1:7). Thank You that Satan cannot stand against Your peace.

Eagerly, Lord, I lift up the shield of faith against all the blazing missiles that Satan and his hosts fire at me. I recognize that You are my shield and that in Your incarnation and crucifixion You took the arrows of Satan which I deserved. By faith .1 count upon You to shield me from above and beneath; on my right and my left; in front of me and behind me, that I might be protected, walled in, encapsulated by You that Satan may gain no way to hurt or destroy me from fulfilling Your will today. I am willing that any fiery darts of Satan You wish to touch me should do so, but I shall look upon them as refining fires permitted in Your providence for my refining and glory (1 Pet 1). Thank You, Lord, that You are a complete and perfect shield and that Satan cannot touch me apart from Your sovereign purpose.

I recognize that my mind is a particular target of Satan’s deceiving ways. I take from You the helmet of salvation. I cover my mind, my thoughts. with Your salvation. I recognize that the Lord Jesus Christ is my salvation. I helmet my head with Him. I invite His mind to be in me. Let me think His thoughts. feel His love and compassion. and discern His will and leading in all things. Let my mind be occupied with the continuing, daily, saving work of my Lord in and through my life. May the salvation of my Lord meet and defeat all Satanic thoughts that come to my mind.

With joy I take hold upon the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. I affirm that Your Word is the trustworthy, infallible Word of God. I choose to believe it and to live in its truth and power. Grant me the love for Your Word which comes from the Holy Spirit. Forgive and cleanse me from the sin of neglecting Your Word. Enable me to memorize it and to meditate upon its truth. Grant me proficient recall and skill in using Your Word against all of Satan’s subtle attacks against me, even as my Lord Jesus Christ used the Word against Satan. Enable me to use Your Word not only to defend me from Satan, but also to claim its promises and to wield the sword strong against Satan to defeat him, to push him back, to take away from him ground he claims, and to win great victories for my God through Your Word. Thank You that, Satan must retreat from Your Word applied, against him.

Thank You, dear Lord, for prayer. Help me to keep this armor well oiled with prayer. I desire to pray at all times with depth and intensity as the Holy Spirit leads me. I reject all fleshly praying as sin. I trust the Holy Spirit to enable me, to intercede for me and through me. Grant me great supplication and burden for others in God’s family of blood-washed saints. Enable me to see their needs and to assist them through prayer as the enemy attacks them. All of these petitions, intercessions, and words of praise I offer up before the true and living God in the name and worthy merit of my Lord Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Missing but still here

2009-09-02T23:55:00.005+01:00

The empty chair seems to have been here for such a long time. My lack of writing was not intentional or relating to the chair post (although it could seem that way). So here we are in September and the harvest is almost in, the weather has been good and I seem to notice more growth this year in trees, hedges and shrubs. The hedge in the rear garden is long in need of cutting - hopefully the weather holds and all can be tidied before the fall.

It has been a month of busyness and at one point felt like moving house, sorting boxes of stuff that had been put away for years; some clearing out and making of space. This was all prompted by an unexpected visitor Brother Simon who will be with us for a while; perhaps he will help with the hedge?

Spent a lovely morning with a family who were celebrating a 50th birthday, I was there to help out taking photos of the group, from children to grand parents. This is not my field but I enjoyed it and they were very pleased with the results. I learned a lot too.

Note to evening office: Don't imagine you can't do something; give it a go and accept we all have to learn things.
.

An Empty Chair

2009-08-07T13:36:00.008+01:00

An Empty Chair.
Yes you were expected.
This chair is a “one size fits all” so No-one is excluded.
Sit a while, rest your legs – No charge.
Look around and take in the sight – No charge.
Try not to think; try to dream – No charge.
Time is all we have; make good use of it, and that’s right – No charge.

You do not need to be anyone special to use this chair – but of course, you are special.

An empty chair in a home may denote someone missing.

How many homeless young people are there in the UK?
In a year, 75,000 young people had to seek help from services because they were homeless. That means 1 in 100 young people in the UK experienced homelessness.
What are the effects of homelessness?
Homeless young people have poorer mental and physical health than other young people. They are more likely to have alcohol and drug problems. Many homeless young people are not in education, employment or training because they are homeless.
Who is homeless?
According to the Government: • 19% of young people accepted as homeless by local authorities are aged 16—18 • 31% are aged 19 or 20 • 50% are 21 to 25 Young people from minority ethnic backgrounds are more likely to be homeless — especially in London.
Why are young people becoming homeless?
The main cause of homelessness in the UK is family breakdown, usually between young people and their parents or step-parents. Many homeless young people have experienced long-term conflict in the home, often involving violence.

Statistics from the Centrepoint homeless poster 2009.
.

High places

2009-08-02T16:11:00.007+01:00

Sunday afternoon and a walk on the beach, no intention as to how far to walk; just half an hour, then turn around. Choosing to walk on the wet sand is easier on the legs but I'm really not into power walking. Tide is a little way out to the right and away off to the left are the grassy sand dunes, the wind in my face is whipping up the fine sand and pushing patterns across the wet hoof prints left by this mornings gallop. Stones and shells catch my eye but I resist to pick up any, this is a time with no particular purpose.

After a week of focusing on things close-up, its good to get out into the open and see things from a distance. Keeping with a nautical theme, a navigator would rely on his sextant and compass but also take heed of the man in the crows nest and the one swinging the lead. It makes sense to go to the high places and check our direction, get out of the traffic jams and head for the open road.

Something woke me last night at just after 3am, wide awake I decided on a cup of tea and tip-toed downstairs. Through the east window I caught sight of Jupiter, and the sky beneath it already becoming day; to the south was Venus and a host of bright stars. If I had only been awakened to see this sight, it was worth it. I was tempted to stay up and watch the sunrise, (but not for long) .. .

There is a certain awe when we realise we are minute in comparison to the universe around us, the cosmos, mountains and sandy beaches. How often great discoveries are made when we see ourselves as insignificant in comparison, to that, which we can see but not always understand.

Note to evening office: Jesus taught by example to get away to the high places; go and take time on your own, away from things close-up.
.

Ham & Spam

2009-07-26T15:46:00.008+01:00

Who decided to use the word browse when it comes to using the Internet? I may browse in the library, a museum, a park or a shop where the intention is not to buy; but I would not regard the Internet as a place to leisurely browse. Mostly it is a place to be on your guard, watchful of wrong turns and misleading quotes. It is packed with information, which should be verified and used with discernment. The World Wide Web - remember Shakespeare's words "Oh what a tangled Web We Weave when first we practice to deceive" (meaning) this spills over into our email Inbox and out into our daily conversations, affecting our values and belief structures.

My main motivation being that of a teacher is therefore not to criticise this amazing phenomena. The ability to share so much through words, pictures, sound and movement is awesome, as something barely dreamed of half a lifetime ago. I am reminded of the words of a famous super hero "With great power comes great responsibility." From the security of our anonymous keyboard interface we can choose to accept that responsibility or perpetuate distractions and blame it on the Internet. Come on guys! we know the difference between Ham and Spam (with no intention of belittling such a wonderful thing as spam fritters). There are real people out there and we all know very little, despite the WWW. Many of us use Facebook, My Space, MSN and Blog sites, communication has never been easier but much is lost in translation.

My thanks to Henry for allowing me to use the photo from his website: Flagstaffotos.Com.Au

Open diary - Empty head

2009-07-21T08:26:00.007+01:00

A page in my diary void of text, indicating a quiet week without engagements; "Not on your life!" This may well have been a totally manic week of unplanned urgent events, a chain reaction of people, needs and support. Can we be too busy to be effective, too attentive to notice or too talkative to hear?

I always regard my memory as poor and unreliable, often letting me down in the worst ways. We laugh and joke about it being an age thing but I wonder about that. Just as any data base, the more information we have the longer it takes to search. The difference between us and a PC is that we get to choose the answer, which may or may not be correct. My head by now must be overflowing with fact and fiction, no wonder I get confused. I manage to backup my PC to storage discs and file somewhere till I need them; I hear there is a great PC in the clouds providing online data storage that you can access from the web or your mobile...

Just like my diary, the data needs to be put in first; more time in what is already a busy day/ week. If only there was a way to download my thoughts, archive my ideas and store my engagements. My perception of the way things used to be, was more time to do the things that matter and less busyness. Often it is good to look back and see how others coped with what I am sure was the same as today. Time was always found to share, tell stories, listen, teach and learn; a time for emptyness, to recolect and reflect; make plans and dream. If these precious times are squeezed out of our life, no wonder we struggle to cope.

Note to morning office: Lord find me in the emptyness of the day, that I may share the things that are important to me. Draw me into that secure moment in time, that I may need nothing but you; and be compelled to return, time after time.
.

Habit is Habit

2009-07-18T08:49:00.005+01:00

The word addiction often calls up negative images of drink, drugs and self destructive ways of life. Yet addiction is a behaviour, an action; something we become dependant upon and cannot imagine living without.

The use of drugs, alcohol and substances are intended for a high, when in reality they take us to a low. I began to wonder (as I do), if it is our intention to reach a low state, a state of vulnerable incapability; to remove our inhibitions, to cast off our worry and concern for tomorrow, to enter into an emptiness - void of feelings, conscious thought or movement.

I stretched this thought a little further, is it the substance or the induced state that becomes the drive to the habit and what is the need in us that draws us to find this state in so many ways? In the search of these ways, we are found wanting; they are not life giving. Our need is not escapism but an emptying of self - to become self with our creator God, to recognise our vulnerability and incapability in relation to this immense universe. To place our worries and concern of he who formed us; this is life giving. When we find a reason for doing things, sometimes the will and the way to change becomes easier; one step at a time.

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time. Mark Twain.
.

Retreat & treat

2009-07-13T06:07:00.007+01:00

This weekends retreat was quite amazing, so much went into it and much deep stuff came out. I should not be surprised by peoples creativity, depth of thought and profound statements; for are we not all part of the glory of creation. The part that touched me most were the letters from a friend; four letters, which as individuals, we opened one at a time. It took us through a journey of relationship with someone who knew us intimately and loved us unconditionally; something I cannot describe (it had to be experienced).

The labyrinth laid out under the trees with fir cones raining down and the sunlight glistening through the branches, a time of quiet reflection as we draw close to the centre, into God - to be sent out. Later in the day we chose a picture, mine was of two hands, joined together, holding each other and we were to write a Haiku. These were indeed profound:

The purpose of existence is an existence for eternity.

To hold tight to what you know is the way. To touch in, to feel, to be.

Perhaps we did not adhere to the rules of Haiku but that was not important. Evening prayer saw us up on a hillside where we lit lanterns, that filled with hot air went soaring into the evening sky. This was not without some sense of concern for local campers, trees and sheep; however, they rose swiftly in the still air, drifting one by one into the distance. Much laughter, good sharing, supporting and caring; special times with special people.

I found this weekend also, a quotation to go with my contribution to the art project (Creation). This will be four photographs; Air, Water, Fire and Earth and the quotation from Nicholas Cusanus (14th century mystic)

The celestial realm is no purer expression of God than the terrestial. In fact, the created order in its entirity consists of God's unfolding what he is "enfolded".
.

Strike the Flag

2009-07-06T06:14:00.007+01:00

Brother Michael knows a thing or two about computers and is apt to tell you all about them, given the chance. It seems the word flag comes up in the realms of programming, a flag is set waiting for something to happen and responds within nano seconds. Other terms are used such as If, Then, Else and electronic devices called Gates. This is all very interesting but at breakfast? Br M went on to give lots of examples of everyday things, just to make sure I understood; I took my coffee and went for a walk down the garden.

These flags I thought, have only one task and that is to respond in a certain way to to a particular event, which may happen many times or only once. I had a picture in my mind of the world, full of flags, every person had a number of flags, many flags set and waiting; no-one seemed to be aware of these flags and they did not hinder their movement. Each flag had been carefully set to respond in nano seconds to a given situation, event, word or action and each response could be justified by its owner.

In programming a computer we have a set way of working, there can be only two choices, therefore the flag system works well. Our lives and how we interact with each other has many choices and to adopt the flag system sets only one response to a given word, action or situation. Is it that we can't be bothered to think through our responses before setting in motion our reaction?

Note to morning office: What would the world look like without flags?
.

Restoration

2009-06-28T21:39:00.006+01:00

A train of thought can move so fast, from some random beginning, through links and jerks; pausing briefly to check anything but direction. This seems to be more than a regular occurrence for me, perhaps I should have been an engine driver; or a signal box man!

Today was no exception with a glace at the word Spitfire I was off; bottle of beer, aircraft, seagull and car. A friend of mine a few years ago was restoring a Spitfire sports car; now I have a lot of time for someone who restores things... This got me thinking more.

To restore something (the dictionary says) is to bring back to an original condition. It must take great pains, care and attention to detail; referring to the makers original specification, using authentic parts or at least, made using the same methods. It would be so much easier to replicate with another material, using modern process; plastic does not have the same ring.

It takes I think a special man or woman to restore a clock, a car, furniture, a picture; a dwelling place. We would say, a labour of love for surely without a love for the restoration, work would never begin. I am in awe of a person who, taking pains over what to anyone else would be a ridiculous amount of time, to bring back something to its true original glory. This is something we can appreciate but not understand, imagine and dream but never get round to doing. It must be really fulfilling to restore something.

Note to evening office: Help me see what needs restoring; find me the tools and materials, and I'll find the time.
.

Yorkshire Flu

2009-06-24T20:39:00.002+01:00

Coughs, sneezes, a croaky voice and a feeling like I can't be bothered; yes its Yorkshire flu. So dear blog land, forgive the absence and I will be back with you soon.
.

Perigrinate

2009-06-17T07:46:00.005+01:00

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Though friends are far off, and their travels take them along different paths; I know we are still on the same road and so often they are so close, I could touch them.

Some folk do - no matter what.

2009-06-10T21:35:00.004+01:00

Occasionally I glimpse into another dimension and I am utterly amazed. The height the width and the depth of that person takes not only my breath but my sense of understanding. When I see commitment of one person to another in the midst of what seems to be impossible situations; I stand back in awe.

There is something very special happening, and sharing in this is both a humbling and challenging experience. Beyond ritual, beyond love, beyond spirituality; at the core of who we are - we let it out. Jesus sermon on the mount comes to mind and no doubt you bible scholars will come back and add to this?

Note to evening office: Lord you are; let me be all that I am.
.

Skylights

2009-06-09T17:26:00.003+01:00

Fading light brings a burst of colour to the sky, I would like to think this was an emerging rainbow however I am sure you meterologists will find some latin name for it. For those with imagination, these are flaming wings of a messenger... I will leave the rest to you.

Full veiw of above..

Sunset

2009-06-03T21:51:00.007+01:00

A sunset is quite intoxicating, something holds us till the last drop of lustre has left the sky. The end of a day, a reflection or a sense of beauty in contrast to the chaos. Time to let go of the cares, allow them to dissolve with the fading light; tomorrow will have enough cares of its own.

Friends far off

2009-05-29T08:24:00.006+01:00

I spoke to a good friend recently, who now lives far off. He was telling about the area, things he had done, we laughed, talked and shared our thoughts. "When are you coming to see us" he asked; "I have so much to show you".

Remembering when I was a boy and cousins would come to visit. I would watch excitedly at the bedroom window, counting the cars till they arrived. Out would come the toys and we would run around; I would show them secret hiding places and we would tell stories of our adventures. The table would be spread, and around five of us would squeeze onto the long stool.

Note to morning office: How excited are you my God, to hear of my adventures; and how much have you to show me.
.

Rievaulx and Dry stone walls

2009-05-27T07:09:00.004+01:00

We have two bank holidays in May, the first, I went for a walk around Rievaulx Abbey; a magnificent building (even now). I tried to imagine the monks and life within the walls, times were very different then. Founded in 1132, Rievaulx went on to become the wealthiest monastery in England. (Rievaulx)

Cloisters, kitchens, refectory,oratory; all that was needed by the community of monks, were within the walls. These walls that have stood up to not only the dissolution but time and weather, to enable our modern day pilgrim to glimps into a way of life - prayer, work, study and rest.

Another day and another walk in the North Yorkshire Moors. Strewn across its length and bredth are dry stone walls, an art still kept by local folk and handed down for future generations. (walls) You have to marvel at the shear size of this task, to enclose fields and moorland. These are not preformed bricks but sandstone rocks of all shapes and sizes, all of them carted by horse to site and each one of them handled and chosen for its size and shape.

There are no rejects, each one is needed and necessary for the build, and no one stone is more important than another.

Note to evening office: That whatever I am, I am needed and it is the builder who places the stones.
.

At the beginning of the day

2009-05-19T22:28:00.000+01:00

O God, I find myself at the beginning of another day,
I do not know what it will bring,
Please help me to be ready for whatever it may be.
If I am to stand up, help me to stand bravely.
If I am to sit still, help me to sit quietly.
If I am to lie low, help me to do it patiently
If I am to do nothing, let me do it gallantly.
I pray just for today, for these twenty-four hours,
for the ability to cooperate with others
according to the way Jesus taught us to live.
"Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven."
May these words that he taught us become more than words.
Please free my thinking and feelings
and the thinking and feelings of others,
from all forms of self-will,
--- self-centredness, dishonesty, and deception.

Along with my brothers and sisters, I need this freedom
to make my choices today according to your desires.

Send your Spirit to inspire us in time of doubt and indecision so that, together, we can walk along your path. ..... Amen.
.

House keeper

2009-05-18T06:54:00.002+01:00

I had thought about early morning walks with the camera and sitting with my feet up (Lord of the manor); it was not to be. After the basic chores were done, I checked the calendar, Visitor due Monday 18th. That put the cat in a spin, change the bed linen in the guest room and get out the dusters and polish; I love the smell of wood polish and probably went a little over the top. I have come to the conclusion, if you want a restful weekend; move out.

However, I did manage to read some, our local library managed to trace a copy of Peter Anson's memoirs "A roving recluse"; this was the caravan man I mentioned in an earlier blog. I can see I am going to enjoy his ramblings, his first recolection was Queen Victoria's diamond jubilee 1897. All is now back to normal, movement around the house and a sense of home.
.

Room to Rent

2009-05-16T11:01:00.003+01:00

What a strange day, I have been left in sole charge of the friary this weekend; anything could happen! Am I to be trusted? - well the chores are almost done so I decided to stop for a coffee. Don't worry, I am a dab hand in the kitchen so I won't go hungry and I am expected up the road later tonight. I am invited by friends to share a meal (guess I will take a bottle of something); not sure if this was spontaneous or just a coincidence.

Part of me enjoys solitude and the other part craves community; usually the opposite of whatever is happening at the time. There will be nobody to get frustrated with and if anything goes wrong, its down to me I guess.. Will let you know how it goes.
.

Batty Bat

2009-05-12T21:29:00.005+01:00

I had just taken a stroll down the garden; the sun has dipped below the distant hills. About this time of night we have a bat that flits around between the hedges and trees; I only ever see one at a time, though there must be more? How fast he fly's and I can only see him when he is silhouetted against the fading sky. He might as well be invisible or not there at all until he emerges against the light. These are not scary creatures but fascinating flights of speed and maneuverability; no time to see where you are going, they rely on sonar. . . . .!

Note to evening office: If I move into the light, I will be seen - I do not want to be invisible, but I do not want to be shot down - help Lord in my visibility.

New places & heaven

2009-05-10T00:24:00.004+01:00

I am feeling for them at the moment, a bunch of young people have had a great day out at the theme park, followed by a Christian rock concert. Now they are stuck on the motorway and not likley to be back till well after 2am. At least they are safe and sound; how did we manage without mobile phones? I have about a 30-minute journey to pick up our two, they must be shattered; I bet they sleep all day tomorrow.

Don't think I cope too well when things take a sudden change in direction. I begin to think things, worry and wonder how best to fix things... The treasure hunt today went well but it would have been nice to see more people. While waiting I listened to pick of the pops I am guessing it was around 1967 as one of the songs was The Sloop John B. I was captured by another song I remember - I'm the Pied Piper by Crispian St Peters.

You

With your masquerading
And you
Always contemplating
What to do
In case heaven has found you
Can't you see
That it's all around you
So follow me

There was I looking out on the church car park, low walls and streets; somehow they looked different, as if this were a new place to me and I was looking at it for the first time. Weird, I know. It doesn't happen very often, but why? (I think traffic must be moving - I just got a text).
.

Retro Pop

2009-05-02T11:23:00.004+01:00

Mid morning coffee break and the friary has been empty all morning; nice. Chance to turn up the music and listen to some retro pop.

I was wondering whether the music influenced the attitude and behavior of the day or the other way round. It seemed the lyrics and general feel good of the music would have an effect on our way of life?

What came first? the Chicken McNugget or the Egg McMuffin??

By the way, do you recognise these guys?
.

Learning to fly

2009-04-27T07:36:00.004+01:00

Sometimes I have a germ of an idea that rolls along and becomes something I can write about; writing puts flesh on the bones of the thought and often doesn't appear until the pen meets the paper. Most of my musings escape before I can rope then, lost in the mystical ether (just thought I would call it that, sounds better than fog). I seem to have a small cache/ memory, a train of events begin and before I am 3-4 carriages down, I have forgotten how I started (brother Cyril, we have more in common than I thought). So I have this little notebook of jottings and ideas; mostly for the book, which is going very slowly.

Sunday early morning and I was watching two blackbirds chasing each other over rooftops and fences. Their world exists of lampposts and aerials, chimneys and treetops; gravity for them is not an issue, they have no need of it. A bird of the air is in its element, I on the other hand am grounded on terra firma and gaze in wonder at effortless flight. Where is my element, in what do I shine? For mankind our element should be our capacity to love, but it seems the enemy is keeping this secret hidden..

Note to morning office: learning to fly requires stepping off some high point.
.

Similarities

2009-04-26T19:56:00.004+01:00

Feels like my head is up in the clouds at the moment....

I pondered earlier after washing up; watching the water go swirling down the sink. Is that what a Black Hole is like and can we see these phenomena in our every day events? I am on the scout for more of the same.

Will come back later and drop my picture in; problems with the Internet. My router died and the spare one is playing up. It's like trying to push through treacle. (Better).. A temporary fix to the broadband connection. How quickly we become reliant on something as simple as a light switch/ telephone/ Internet. Called an old friend today who I had not spoken to in a long time, so much has happened and 40 minutes was not enough to catch up to where we used to be. Selective points to try and summarise where we are now - sometimes think I do that with the Lord too.
.

Inner self

2009-04-14T09:46:00.005+01:00

Stress, anxiety, depression is a state we cannot fully understand, unless we have been there; and even then - what is understanding? We muddle through at best, follow suggestions and formulae in an effort to find something that works. Like a roller coaster, we can see the bend coming up but we cannot prepare for the forces against us as we go through that bend. A recent training course "mental health first aid! was very interesting, particularly as a close friend is going through this.

We journeyed together to church the other week, a big step for her; avoiding people and questions. Well meaning folk, pleased to see her and wanting to encourage. The early service was a good option, familiar in its ways and unlikely to have any surprises; tea & coffee is provided between the services for the comings and goings. At the final blessing I whispered to her "fancy a coffee"; "I think I'll just go straight home".

As we left we bumped into a lady just arriving, she asked the time of the next service and we suggested she went int the hall for a coffee first.
Sitting in the car we could see the lady, walking around the perimeter looking at the hall; she then sat on the wall, waiting.

Thats when it happened; my friend reached into who she is, a caring person that understands feelings. "Tell her, if she wants to go for a coffee, I will go with her" and that's what we did.

Note to morning office: help me to know me and work out of who I am.
.

Gift of Time

2009-04-13T21:29:00.004+01:00

Sunday should not go without a mention; after service a friend came to me and said "I'm going to ask you a strange question". With a laugh I told him he would probably get a strange answer; he asked me if I had a wrist watch? Of course and I went on to show him and tell him how it is nothing special and I have had it some years now, the glass is scratched and will only wind the pointers one way. This winding is not a problem as in the fall it will wind back and the watch always gains a little - so winding back is no problem. March is a problem and I need to wind back 11-hours.

Clearly I did not go into such length about my old watch as my friend just held out his watch and said, "I would like you to have this". I was stunned and did not know what to say, I am used to there being a catch/ condition; there was none. This was a very good quality watch, I used to have one the same make many years ago. It seems my friend recieved a retirement gift, a special watch and must have pondered on what to do with his old one; most would keep it in a drawer for use on occasional days. He added, it's quartz and just had a new battery; I am not often lost for words - a simple thank you...

But it must be more than that for it has not left my thoughts since. Our possessions, all that we have - it is not what we have but what we do with it - letting go of possessions is not easy - how much stuff do I/we have in cupboards and drawers and if we could let go of them, then maybe - just maybe we could let go and be who we are created to be. New life indeed.

Note to evening office: do some clearing out.
.

Monday walk

2009-04-13T14:54:00.026+01:00

Started out this morning at a bird hide and quickly realised

I am a photographer - not a bird watcher. I enjoy taking pictures of our feathered friends but conversation in that small shed was all about what they had seen and where. I think I was looking for a little peace and quiet; so off I went for a walk. Here are a selection of snaps.

Happy Easter.

Eternal Bank Account

2009-04-05T07:14:00.004+01:00

So many of us put great distance between ourselves and our bank account when funds are low. The statement, be it on paper or online is avoided at all cost. "I know I am low but I don't want to know how much". It is great to view a statement when we are in credit, spend a little and not worry about the balance (spend a lot and not worry)!

The journey back is always longer than the journey there, as kids we would walk down the fields to the woods, and play all day. Coming back we would often comment how far away the farmhouse was; it seemed as if someone had moved it while we were playing. It is easy for our statement of accounts to move beyond our point of calculation; Dad would always say "look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves". Strange, when the most I would have was ten shillings (but he was right). It dosen't seem to matter how well we are brought up, we still stray and get into bother, now the economic climate seems to be having a day (or two) of reckoning; perhaps the banks have been loosing sight of the pennies.

Holy week and leading up to Good Friday, a day of reckoning when our debt was paid in full ,but it is not that simple - our statement needs to be refreshed daily.
Note to morning office: help me to look after the pennies (your sheep).
.

Look through any window

2009-03-26T08:44:00.003Z

I found a new exercise this morning in my bid to keep fit; washing windows.
It is an action that is good for the Body, Mind and Spirit.

For a window to be effective, it should be cleaned regularly on both the outside and the in. When it is unclean, much is hidden but once the cleaning is done; even the smallest of blemish (even in the corners) is noticed.

The view from the window opposite is taken from Hetton Hall Northumbria; a prayer seat at the top of the first floor looking towards the sea and Cuthberts cave. A bell rings and it is time for morning office.....

.

The Caravan Pilgrim

2009-03-22T09:44:00.005Z

The large caravan, pulled by two horses emerged from behind the Black Bull Inn at Ugthorpe. It was 1934 and already much of the pilgrimage had been accomplished. Peter Anson and his companion Tony Rowe began (with a much larger portiuncula) in Datchet - Thames Valley on Ash Wednesday; marked with black smudges on their foreheads and determination in their hearts. The stop-over at Ugthorpe was for 5-weeks and the villagers got to know the pilgrims well. Mum recalled the story many times and the fascination of the local community. A trade for the old caravan was made with gypsies at Guisborough and the re-fit work began. The old van would have been too heavy for the steep hills in Scotland even though Jack and Bill were good strong horses. Earlier as they approached Ugthorpe, just before Jolly Sailors bank, one of the shafts broke in two with a painfully audible sound of splitting timber. Once all was made safe, Tony left Peter to go for help; knowing folk around these parts but it was not till morning that help arrived, Peter spent a windy night on the moor top.

Peter Anson wrote and sketched about churches, Cathedrals and Abbeys up and down the country; he also travelled round Italy, France and Ireland. Peter was with the Benedictine brotherhood on Caldey Island, and one of the twenty monks who followed Abbot Aelred Carlyle over to Rome in 1913. He must have felt quite at home during his stay at Ugthorpe; the community had not changed in it's beliefs or ways of life in many years. Staying true to the faith during the persecution, hiding priests and being married by the church in secret; and later in Whitby to fulfil the law. Peter had a great interest in these times and commented as he found them on his travels.

Peters companion was a local lad, Anthony Rowe from Brotton (only a stones throw from us). Tony was a farrier and an ideal choice for his knowledge of horses and practical sense. He went on to write the first book “The Brown Caravan” followed by Peters “The caravan pilgrim " On their way back from Scotland through Bowes, Yarm, Guisborough and on to Ugthorpe, which was to be their final port, the horses sensed the home run and needed to be held back rather than urged forward. The caravan was sold, the horses too and Peter continued his wandering, writing and drawing; his stories of local folk, faith and determination.

Note to evening office: Keep telling the old stories.
.

Hayburn Wyke

2009-03-04T20:32:00.009Z

The walk last Sunday is still fresh in my mind and I couldn't resist putting the pictures into a video. Tomaso Albinoni now on my Ipod seemed a good choice of backing music. Hayburn Wyke is in North Yorkshire, a little north of Scarborough; close to Ravenscar.

The waterfall comes over the cliff and down to the shoreline; you could not call it a beach. Rocks, boulders and stones; I should also mention - a great place for fossils along this stretch of coastline, all the way up to Robin Hoods Bay.

Note to memo: Take time to smell the flowers. (must be almost spring)?
.